Uncle Ted's Recipes #11: Porky Power Pasta

Ok so before we get into things I'd like to apologise for not having uploaded anything on this blog in quite some time but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and produce more content on all of my online platforms. Hopefully this is the start of something great but only time will tell but anyway...on with the recipe!

Today we're going to be taking a look at a recipe that I cooked up (pardon the pun) last week while trying to think of what to do with some leftover breakfast meats that I had left over from some fry up breakfasts that I'd made earlier in the week. I had some sausages and bacon leftover that I couldn't really think of any other days last week where I'd want to have them for breakfast so I decided to incorporate them into a nutritious dinner where their saltiness and meaty textures would be nicely complimented. So here we go with the recipe proper and let me know if you guys have any suggestions to change or add to the recipe in the comments below!

Utensils:
1 large iron or cast iron pot or saucepan
1 medium meat slicing or fillet knife
1 medium vegetable knife
1 large chopping board
1 draining sieve or colander
1 fork
1 teaspoon
1 or 2 baking tray(s)
a roll of tin foil (possibly optional)

Ingredients:
1 diced large brown onion
200-300g spinach already washed and drained
100-200g petite pois peas
2 diced medium vine ripe tomatoes
3-6 rashers smoky back bacon
4-6 pork sausages (either standard pork or possibly pork and sage or Cumberland)
700-750g wholegrain fusilli pasta
200-300g Dijon mustard
vegetable oil
salt
ground smoked paprika
dried basil

Cooking method/Cooking steps:

Step 1 - Starting heating the oven on the grill setting to 250C while filling the pan/pot halfway with water and a couple of medium splashes of oil and start heating to the midway point on the dial.

Step 2 - Cover a baking tray with tin foil and then pierce the sausages 2 or 3 times on each side before placing in the tray and baking for 15-16 minutes while turning over halfway through.

Step 3 - Bring the water to a boil and throw in all of the pasta with a few pinches of salt and basil while giving a stir with the fork. Boil the pasta for 10 minutes and stir every 2 minutes very briefly while it is cooking again with the fork.

Step 4 - About 5-6 minutes before the sausages are finished cooking, cover another baking tray with foil and place the bacon in it to bake in the oven, remove the bacon from the oven at roughly the same time as the sausages. Once the meats are cooked, take them onto a chopping board and dice up with the meat knife and place into a bowl on the side for the time being.

Step 5 - When the pasta is cooked, drain it in the colander in the sink but do not lower the heat on the pan. Instead, place the pan back onto the heat and throw in a few splashes of oil along with the onion, a few pinches of salt and stir frequently while it cooks for 5 minutes. After this point, add in a few teaspoons of smoked paprika and stir to mix before adding in the tomatoes and mixing while cooking for another 5 minutes.

Step 6 - throw all of the spinach into the pan and stir until it is all wilted before adding in another pinch of basil and the diced up meat. Stir to mix before throwing in the pasta and mixing that in as well while also turning the heat down to the lowest possible setting.

Step 7 - throw in all of the mustard into the pan and mix in and then leave to heat up for about 3-4 minutes before adding in and mixing in the peas then leave to heat gently for another 4 or so minutes.

Step 8 - Serve on a gently-warmed plate either as it is or with a very light garnishing on top of parmesan and fresh basil leaves. Recommend washing this dish down with either a glass of sparkling water or a fizzy Eurocentric beer like Stella Artois or San Miguel Fresca.

Ted's film reviews: Army of Darkness (released 1992)

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106308/mediaviewer/rm2861960192

Today we have an action film classic that has undeniably and fully deservedly earned its status of being a cult-classic amongst its contemporaries of the genre and when it was made.  However, much like a number of other classic action films and similar media from the 1980s and 1990s, while the quotable bits and iconic scenes have earned their referential icon status, the weaker bits of the film are forgotten about and don't rear their ugly head until you actually watch the piece of media in question.  Ladies and gentlemen, that piece of media of the day is the 1992 cult hit Army of Darkness starring the almighty chin man that is Bruce Campbell.

Made on the back of the two enormously successful and cheaply-made Evil Dead films (released 1981 and 1987), Army of Darkness was a bit of a departure from its predecessors in that it was the first entry into the franchise with a definitively large budget.  Part of the appeal of the first two movies is that, much like a lot of Quentin Tarantino's earlier work, a lot was achieved on a low budget via creative cinematography.  While a similar sense of cinematography being used to cover up the cracks is present in Army of Darkness, it doesn't really feel as genuine or even as effective considering the higher budget and production quality compared to the previous movies.  That isn't to say that the film is bad in terms of the cinematography but I feel that it should've either gone whole hog for being a low-budget skimmer of a movie or a full-blown blockbuster.  Not to say that finding a middle ground in this regard is impossible but that in the case of this movie, it felt a bit over-ambitious on the part of the filmmakers to try to this extent. 

But, as theoretically lopsided as the movie might be, this aspect doesn't ruin the whole meal rather just a small part of it and thankfully, this doesn't take away from the delightfully simple plot.  After the events of Evil Dead II, Ash (played by Bruce Campbell) is transported back in time to a highly fictionalised past where two warring kingdoms are spilling each others blood in the medieval era all while the land is being ravaged by an army of undead monsters and daemons being led by a malevolent undying king.  After proving that he has what it takes to be the hero to retrieve the foul book that is the Necronomicon to reverse the curse placed on this begotten land, Ash is handed his trademark chainsaw arm and sawn-off shotgun before setting off to claim the book for his newfound friends and hopefully find a way back to his time and home.  Through some inevitable hijinks however, the evil king is not immediately defeated and Ash is tasked with fighting off a demonic invasion and uniting the two warring kingdoms while still struggling to survive.

Its a real classic tale format of a badass outsider being plunged into unfamiliar territory that you somehow know, even with that hero's limited knowledge, that they'll deal with like they're poaching some eggs.  This basic tale is spiced up with a, what was at the time modern and topical hero with similarly natured technology, character who acts as a contemporary audience proxy and through a mixture of wit, dumb luck and having A SAWN OFF SHOTGUN, is able to win the day, get the girl and say some memorable lines that live on in movie pop-culture history.

With such a simple plot, one would suspect that the quality of the film throughout isn't much to talk abut especially considering the earlier discussion about the thematic inconsistency with the other films.  Thankfully, the quality of the acting is such that this doesn't really matter and this is supported by some refreshingly simple script writing.  I do like complex acting performances and screenplays as well as scripts but sometimes, while you might fancy a steak tartan, you may also fancy a humble and simplistic beef burger.  The cast and script seem to know from the offset that they're not creating something too deep or 'high art' and as a result they just relish in having fun making a dumb, cheesy and endearingly plain and simple popcorn flick.

Again, as mentioned above, the film is far from perfect.  The acting isn't amazing across the board and Bruce Campbell is the only one who is good throughout the whole movie and the thematic pacing does feel a bit wonky.  Not to mention, the introduction of the main villain feels a tiny bit contrived and its not always clear what the rules are of the new magic and swords world that Ash is adventuring in.  But, as similarly mentioned earlier, the enjoyment factor of the film is quite high and even if you don't ignore its faults, you can still enjoy Army of Darkness as a bit of good old dumb fun.

Camerawork/cinematography: 5.5/10

Writing/screenplay: 6/10

Acting: 7/10

Direction: 7/10

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

Ted's film reviews: Alien (Released 1979)

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/mediaviewer/rm2990766080 

I guess, considering how long it has been since my last blogpost, that I should apologise for not having uploaded anything here in a while.  And while I am sorry, I guess it makes a certain amount of sense considering how many years came between the subject of today's review and its sequel.  That's because the film being reviewed here is the seminal sci-fi horror masterpiece Alien (1979) which for a while was considered something of a lone diamond in the rough until its equally venerated sequel Aliens came out 7 years later.

Thankfully, unlike a lot of film series where the second movie is regarded more highly than the original (see the original Star Wars trilogy (1977-1983)), Alien is on a similar if not equal level of quality as its 1986 sequel albeit for different reasons.  Whereas Aliens is one of the most important action films of the late-20th century with the film influencing many other properties in action moviedom as well as shooting-based video games, Alien has a more central importance to the idea of horror fiction in film particularly more so than the movie does to any other medium.  You only really have to look as far as Event Horizon (1997) as proof of this.  Yet despite Aliens having more of an immediately obvious cultural impact on the wider scape of popular culture and films specifically, I would still say that both films are at least as good as one another in terms of their quality.

And whereas Aliens has its strengths mainly in its pacing, set pieces and action scenes, Alien seems to get the majority of its praises from its atmosphere-building, sense of suspense, acting and the very-impressive-for-its-time practical effects.  Thankfully, these points of praise are very well-founded as we'll discuss in a bite but first, THE PLOT!

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/mediaviewer/rm2611876352 

In the far flung future, humanity has breached the stars of our galaxy and begun to delve into space exploration where explorers are stored in cryogenic pods to survive long trips and wherein these very trips are funded not by governments and space agencies but by private paramilitary corporations.  This is not the hopeful world of exploration seen in the Star Trek franchise but one where humanity barely escaped its own atmosphere and where the crews of many explorations are expendable to companies like the Weyland-Yutani corporation who, in particular, are the ones funding the expedition at the centre of the plot of Alien.  When the film begins, we see the crew of this expedition, including the main character Ripley (played brilliantly by Sigourney Weaver) waking up several weeks early from their destination after having been frozen in cryogenic sleep.  Upon waking, Ripley, along with the rest of the crew of the spaceship Nostromo are alerted to a distress signal and upon finding its location they also uncover a colony of alien-looking egg chambers.  After their detour to this place, the crew go back to the ship and head on their way before quickly realising that they have a murderous and most unwanted guest on their ship.

What I like about the plot, much like a number of seminal action or sci-fi films from the late-1970s to early-1980s, is that the overall concept is rather simple.  No introspective deep thinking in the overall plot, rather the main concept of the story itself is kept as simple as possible meanwhile any philosophising, what little there is, is left up to the people in the movie for character-building moments.  And Alien has a load of these moments such as when the nature of a conversation between the crew about exploration and safety protocols indirectly brings up the drudging prospect of living a sterilised and entirely-for-profit lifestyle under a corporation like the previously-mentioned Weyland-Yutani.  Thankfully, as interesting as these character moments are, they aren't too plodding or overly-frequent to distract away from the action and are instead used to carefully set up a sense of false-security before the eponymous alien explodes into the movie and wreaks havoc.  

Once this period of atmosphere-building is done and dusted we're then made all the more aware of the other two main strengths of the film in the form of the acting and decent, at least for its time, practical and special effects.  The acting in particular is kind of a given towards its high quality when you consider how many spectacular actors and actresses performed on the cast here including Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt and John Hurt.  However, what makes the spread of acting performances so good in this film isn't just the talent amongst the cast but the casting itself specifically.  Weaver, as young as she was in 1979 was easy to take as the scared but pragmatic Ripley while Hurt is enthralling as the wary and weary Kane.  Seriously, whoever was in charge of the casting for this movie, I hope they got a bottle of whiskey and a box of truffles.

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/mediaviewer/rm3452767744 

And the same really has to go for the team who worked on the special and practical effects.  I won't talk too much about it because the practical effects in particular are key to the first big reveal/plot twist of the film involving John Hurt.  However, even though you hear it said about a large number of famous films made around the same time as Alien, it is no less true for this classic.  I feel sometimes that while it hasn't fallen off the map, practical effects isn't as much of a seminal art of sorts in modern cinema as it was in 1979.  Some features like Dunkirk (2017) and Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) do seem to be reviving this underappreciated art and I am eternally grateful for that.  However, if you want to see an example of practical effects in their prime and at their most creative, watch Alien and you will not be disappointed.

Overall, the film is a classic, there really is a sense that all of the legendary praise heaped on this feature is thoroughly deserved and totally not unwarranted.  Its a peculiar situation where, even though I would not say the film is perfect due to some of the acting being sub par and direction at times being run of the mill, I would still say this film is an undeniably excellent film and easily ranked amongst all the classics of the sci-fi genre including the films that are indeed perfect.  Conclusion:  watch this film and then watch its sequels pronto.

Camerawork/cinematography: 8/10

Directing: 7.5/10

Writing: 8.25/10

Acting: 9.5/10

Personal enjoyment: 10/10