And speaking of consistency, there is perhaps no other form of film I enjoy more than ones which are trying to be profound or good but fail either through lack of skill or sheer ineptitude. Today's offering truly does fit this bill consistently throughout its runtime and so, again with thanks to the University of Sussex Sci-fi and Horror society for helping me to see this film again, I give you the bountiful gift that is the 2004 underrated horror classic, Mindhunters!
Image source: www.imdb.com/title/tt0297284/mediaviewer/rm47553792
In all honesty though, I would think that it'd be fair to forgive someone for thinking that they were going into a moderately entertaining horror/action flick at the very least . The plot is pretty straightforward and should, on a face level, make for decent viewing.
In the bygone age of 2004 USA, a team of undergraduate junior FBI investigators and profilers are sent by their crime investigation tutor Jake Harris (played by Val Kilmer) to a US Navy seals training facility on a remote island to conduct a mock manhunt for an imaginary serial killer. However, as soon as Harris leaves and the exercise begins, the investigators are gradually killed off one by one for real by an elusive assassin that the rest of the survivors have to unite against. All this has to be done while the team are all suspecting each other of being the killer and attempting to solve the murders. This isn't made any simpler for the team by the last minute inclusion on their expedition of federal department officer Gabe Jensen (played by James Todd Smith (aka LL Cool J)) who was previously unknown to the rest of the students. Can Jensen and the FBI undergrads put aside their differences or will they all be picked off one by one by the mysteriously planned traps that all seem to target one particular team member one at a time?
Now doesn't that just sound like the plot of an underrated classic? Well in a sense it is because despite having a cast including a few half-decent actors and a nice and simple plot, the narrative, characters and pacing quickly go into a cavalcade of goofy failure. What really makes me warm to the failures of Mindhunters though is that unlike the vast majority of Uwe Boll's films, this flick wasn't made with a lack of care put into it and in contrast to anything from The Asylum film studio, it wasn't intentionally made to be bad. Add to this that all of the best actors are given the worst lines, are underutilised or killed off right at the start in combination with considerable incompetence all round and your have a crapshoot of grand proportions. And its not for a joke either, its all played 100% straight, trimmings and all.
On the point of decent actors being killed off way too early (SPOILER WARNING), Christian Slater is one of the first to go in what is easily the funniest death scenes in the film which is nicely helped along with easily the worst bit of CGI in a film that showcases no good CGI at all. But while it is perhaps understandable not to make the biggest use of a one-note actor like Christian Slater, you'd expect a seasoned great of the craft like Val Kilmer but instead, the 1990s heavy hitter is just given a small bag of generic lines and is in the film for a grand total of just a few minutes.
The last gasp bastion of providing a possibility of a good performance would be LL Cool J who, if not a talented actor, always provides warming charisma. Instead, J seems to have been given little to no good direction on top of easily the three most notoriously bad lines in the film (watch the film in full you'll get what I mean). With the three most promising talents of the cast taken out of commission or improperly used (perhaps less so in LL Cool J's case because he is still able to really sell his lines with passion) you're left with a cast of either walking horror thriller stereotypes or cardboard cut-outs who desperately try (or at least I think that's what they're trying to do) to glean some ironic quality out of the horrendous script, archetypal early-2000s pop soundtrack or lame duck direction.
Image source: https://www.horrortalk.com/reviews/40-movie-reviews/291-mindhunters.html
In a strange bit of contrast though, there are some genuinely unironic and true bits of quality sprinkled throughout the movie. While the CGI sucks major cobblers, the action scenes where some of the CGI can be found are among the only small handful of scenes in the film with any good direction. The final gunfight between the main character and villain at the end of the film in a ice pool is genuinely gripping. Meanwhile, a scene much earlier in the film where LL Cool J and Clifton Collins Jr both have to work together against the clock in order to save themselves from a hallway filling with electrified water is made truly intense by the score actually being suitable for once and LL Cool J performing some half-decent stunt work along a hole-riddled wall. The stunt work in general is actually pretty decent and even when the action isn't at its best, such as the fistfight between LL Cool J and detective Harper (played by Jonny Lee Miller), the action scenes are between participants that are only about as tough as one another so no scrap ever feels uneven and has at least a satisfactory level of intensity.
Just note, this isn't anywhere near enough to rescue the film and make it a genuine and unironic 5/10 film experience at least. But on the flipside, its not like the genuinely good bits of the film highlights the cons of the film and make them worse either. It is true that there was a good deal of potential for this film to be genuinely good but Mindhunters is one of the few bad films where the bits that are genuinely and unironically good make you incur pain from how much better the film could've been. Instead, how I would describe this dilemma of an ironically bad/good film having unironically good bits in it is that in Mindhunter's case, its more like going to a Chinese restaurant near the end of serving hours to have a delicious chow mein and then getting some free fresh leftovers from the kitchen warm out of the kitchen right as you're leaving and as the restaurant is closing. You didn't expect such a development and one thing is of a higher quality than the other, but its sill very tasty and you're happy to enjoy it regardless.
So to CONCLUDE! Mindhunters is an awfully made film in an objective sense but is made with such effort and passion behind it that it both gives the film an admirable charm whilst also highlighting the genuinely good aspects of the film. And even when the awful script rears its scruffy head, its usually with a line that you either laugh your knickers off at or can't help but at least give a mirthful smile to. So would I recommend Mindhunters? Ironically I would. Definitely in a so bad its good way, you can glean a great deal of enjoyment of this flick while also appreciating some actually decent fight choreography. Do not go into this film with expectations of it being a satisfactorily well-made film or being constantly rip-roaringnly funny throughout, it might sound weird to do that but trust me, you'll enjoy the film all the more for doing so.
Camerawork/cinematography: 4/10
Directing: 3/10
Acting: 5/10
Writing & plot: 5.5/10
Personal enjoyment: 10/10
OVERALL RATING: 27.5/50
