Video game review #9: Judge Dredd: Dredd VS Death

 So its been just over 8 years since my last dedicated video game review? That's long enough right? Yeah not too bad.

Then again, consistency has always NOT been a characteristic of my timing on this blog so what's the harm in reviewing a long-forgotten FPS game based off of a much-loved sci-fi franchise?

Judge Dredd: Dredd VS Death is one of those little gems that, while maybe not leaving a huge overall impact on the gaming industry and the scene of FPS titles, still deserves credit as a fine example of simple gameplay and simple storytelling creating a compelling and enjoyable experience.

The Judge Dredd comics that are part of the 2000AD comic series and first published on 05/03/1977 have become the hallmark for action-based comics with dark and adult themes. The comics have rightfully earned their place as some of the most seminal in the medium and even spawned two films; a terrible but nonetheless fun cheesy popcorn flick in 1995 starring Sylvester Stallone and a 2012 film starring Karl Urban in a more faithful and grittier adaptation of the comics.

In terms of tone and style, I'd say that this 2003 first-person-shooter video game is somewhere between the two movies. It has a fair bit of grimdark, grit and realism that can be found in the 2012 movie but also the theatre, one-liners and set-piece moments of the 1995 movie. 

While the atmosphere is a good balance between grit and cinema, the actual gameplay is a lot more consistent. The shooting has a decent amount of impact but there isn't as much variation in the weapons as you'd expect from an early-2000s FPS. You get a selection in this game from a pistol, a rifle that doubles as a sniper rifle and assault rifle, two different types of shotguns, a laser rifle and a laser pistol that is about as powerful as a newborn kitten and a strangely ineffectual grenade launcher. The real standout though is the Lawgiver pistol which is a seminal part of the Judge Dredd mythos as it is a multi-weapon handgun that is linked to the biological ID of it's registered user who has to be a Judge like Dredd. It's easily the best weapon in this game showcasing a rapid-fire mode, heat-seeker bullets, armour-piercing rounds, immolating fire bullets and the one-solution-solves-all-problems that is high-explosive rounds. I quite honestly never found any need to use anything other than rapid-fire and high-explosive rounds on the lawgiver which is a bit sad as I would've liked to see more set-pieces where I was forced or inclined to make better use of the lawgivers' alternate fire modes. As it is, the gunplay still has a good bit of impact and you do really feel like you're an all-conquering law judge in Mega City One.  

Outside of the shooting, the gameplay is pretty straightforward and while it doesn't have the sleuthing segments of the James Bond PS2 games or the physics puzzles of Half Life 1 & 2, it does have a simple formula that is undeniably compelling and enjoyable. depending on where you are, you'll be facing gangs corrupting the underbelly of the city or a mix of vampires, zombies and death cultists bringing about untold destruction to the innocents of your city. With the more human enemies, you can capture them and sentence then to time behind bars or you can shoot your way towards justice and a safer Mega City One. The way the simplicity of that gameplay finds itself to be so compelling is by doing just a couple of things for the fundamentals of the game but making them as accessible and rewarding as possible.

That's not to say the gameplay is flawless though, I can imagine that some people will yearn for something with a bit more variety. However, the game is only 5-6 hours long with the single player in mind so its not like you'll be playing long enough for this to become an issue. The other main problem I had with the gameplay is that the civilian AI is impossibly janky and stupid. On one level in a mega mall, I had to rescue civilians being attacked by zombies in a nightclub. The civilian AI would follow me wherever I went but their natural pathing was so one-note and unintelligent that when they came to the 'specified safe zone' they'd horizontally line up. But if I led all of them in at the same time or walked centrally to the escape exit then the last of the survivors would get stuck behind the line of other civilians and the game would refuse to register me completing that objective. This definitely happened at least two more times thus forcing me to do minor restarts. Its not a total gamebreaker, but the AI is possibly the weakest fundamental part of the gameplay. 

The visuals are also another possible downside. They don't look like excremental doggy chowder but its not the most handsome game either. I gather they were probably going for a similar cartoon feel to the comics but its presented in a much less seamless way here. The design isn't the problem but the graphics and how said design is implemented has certainly aged chunkily in a visual manner. That being said, while the graphics have aged poorly, there is a definite rough charm to them and the game feels like a game of its time as a result of that in the best way possible.

So while the game is a little bit imbalanced, it is fun in a refreshingly simple way. So what's the story like? Again, its pretty simple but definitely mixed with a bit more complexity. It does help to have read a little bit into the mythos of the Judge Dredd comics but its not entirely necessary. In this game you have to deal with a death-worshiping cult who are trying to release the four demonic 'dark judges' who are perverse and dark parodies of Judge Dredd and his colleagues who come from a dead parallel world that is a dark parody of Earth after all life has been exterminated. The dark judges work off of the basis that living itself and consuming the resources that the world needs to operate is a crime and they aim to judge every living being by killing them. Its grimdark in its purest sense and ties perfectly into the ethos of a 2000 AD-type comic. What gives a good bit of narrative juice to the concept of the four dark judges is that they are loosely based off of the four horsemen of the apocalypse with Judge Death being marked as guilty by the hall of judges of not only murder (well duh) but also genocide and bloody omnicide (where you are found guilty of wiping out an entire species in a process that may also result in your own death). So yeah, I think the stakes are pretty high.

Throughout the game you're working towards the overall goal of stopping the dark judges from gaining fully material forms so they can enact their full powers with the aim of ending all life on earth. During the Necropolis event in the comics, the dark judges were able to turn Mega City One into a city of the dead by murdering 60 million of its occupants. With hints to their previous exploits in the lore being fed through character's basic reactions to their presence as well as chapter title cards, you get a well-balanced sense of just how dangerous and threatening the judges are. Considering they can kill you pretty quickly in the game (with the exception of Judge Fear), the dark judges hold an immersive sense of threat and magnitude that draws you into the story by the sheer magnitude of their evil and just how much they need to be stopped.

This game overall is like a cheeseburger, its simple and you know what you're getting in for but the key here is in the execution in the ingredients. Yes its a cheeseburger, but its a great cheeseburger in a seeded brioche bun with A1 Wagyu beef and lamb fat with top-tier gouda and cheddar as well as some artisan gherkins and dry slaw along with homemade burger sauce and bbq sauce along with a side of traditional Belgian fries that have been triple-fried. This game isn't super complicated but it doesn't need to be. Be it something wholesome and kid-friendly or something bloody and grimdark, you sometimes just need a simple injection of fun.

Gameplay 8/10

Story 6.75/10

Graphics 5/10

Soundtrack and sound design 8.5/10

Fun factor 9/10

Fundamental/overall/objective score 7.5/10

Uncle Ted's Recipes #16: Lemon juice & curd with vanilla and poppy seed cake

 This is a recipe that I thought of from scratch and while it is rudimentary it is simple enough that even the most green of bakers should be able to make it easily.

This is a fairly light cake although it is quite moist and dense so once you have tried it according to this recipe then try playing around with the ingredient amounts.

Ingredients:

350-400g each of both plain and self-raising flour (don't feel afraid to add a little more flour if the mix ends up looking not dry enough)

200-300g lemon curd

5 Large eggs

2 Tablespoons sunflower oil

400g honey instead of sugar

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda or baking powder

lemon juice and grated rind of two lemons

100g poppy seeds

20-30ml vanilla extract

4-6 tablespoons brown muscovado sugar

Method:

Step 1 - Preheat the oven to either 200C fan-forced or 220C double-sided and line a deep baking tray with baking paper that you have crumpled and re-rolled out.

Step 2 - Sift the flour and bicarbonate/baking powder into a large mixing bowl and mix together and then create a well in the middle. On the side, crack the eggs into a bowl or jug and then beat them before adding in the oil and mixing well until the eggs and oil has a tiny bit of a cloudy tint to it

Step 3 - Pour the eggs and oil into the centre of the well in the flour mix and fold it until it is mixed all in. Afterwards, mix in the honey, lemon juice, vanilla extract and 2/3 of the poppy seeds and mix well until all is combined.

Step 4 - Spread half of the cake mix into the baking tray and then spoon in and spread all of the lemon curd on top of this. After the curd has been distributed as evenly as possible, spread on top the rest of the cake mix.

Step 5 - Sprinkle the remaining poppy seeds, grated lemon rind and brown muscovado sugar on top of the cake and then place into the oven for 30 minutes. Check when the cake is cooked by inserting a knife into it and if it comes out as mostly dry or with just a bit of lemon curd on it and no moist cake mix then its nearly cooked.

Step 6 - Leave to cool for 1.5-2.5 hours before serving with lemon and ginger tea or with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a glass of white wine.

Uncle Ted's Recipes #15: Saag Paneer with pulses and pre-marinated paneer

Sorry if the lack of updates on this blog has left your appetites for film and video game reviews or recipe posts insufficiently satisfied but here I am again with an old recipe that I have updated a bit during my time spent experimenting with recipes during lockdown.

So here is a recipe I built up for saag paneer with pre-marinated paneer and extra pulses that is suitable for most occasions and is simple enough that it can be adapted to different dietary needs.

Utensils:

• Chopping board
• Sieve/colander
• Garlic crusher
• Large chopping knife
• Small vegetable/herb knife
• Wooden spoon
• Cast iron or stainless steel saucepan or pot with a lid
• Measuring spoons

Ingredients:

• 2 medium white onions
• 6-8 garlic cloves
• 400g tinned chopped tomatoes
• 400g tinned or frozen spinach
• 400g low-fat coconut milk
• 3-5 tablespoons chilli flakes
• 2 tablespoons Garam Masala
• 2 tablespoons allspice
• 2 tablespoons ground tumeric
• 3 tablespoons curry powder
• 2 tablespoons tikka curry powder
• 1 lemon
• Vegetable oil
• 400-500g diced paneer (preferable), chicken breast or tofu
• 400g kala chana
• 400g green lentils
• 200g chickpeas
• 1 tablespoon cardamom pods
• 1 tablespoon caraway or cumin seeds
• 1 tablespoon curry leaves
• 1 tablespoon mustard seeds or cloves

Cooking method/process:

1. At least 2 hours before beginning cooking, dice the paneer into a tupperware box and squeeze all of the lemon juice into the box along with grating the lemon rind. Also add in a teaspoon of oil, a few shakes of salt and the tikka curry powder. After mixing all of this into the paneer, put on the lid, wrap in clingfilm and place into the fridge for at least a couple of hours
2. Heat up a few tablespoons of oil in the pan at about 20% heat along with the seeds, pods, chilli flakes and curry leaves along with a handful of shakes of salt before stirring and allowing to lightly simmer for 5 minutes but be VERY CAREFUL to make sure this doesn't burn.
3. Dice up the onions and add them to the pan along with the garlic after it has been crushed before stirring and turning up to 50% heat and allowing to simmer until the onions are moderately soft while keeping close attention to the pan to make sure this mixture doesn't burn. Just before dicing the onions, it would be a good idea to rinse the beans and pulses in a sieve/colander so that they have at least a few minutes to drain.
4. In a mug or bowl, pour a couple of tablespoons of oil before throwing in all of the ground spices aside from the tikka powder with a couple more tablespoons of oil and a few shakes of salt on top before mixing well and setting this curry paste mixture aside for a few minutes.
5. Get the paneer out of the fridge and add it into the saucepan along with the beans and pulses and mix well with a few shakes of salt and allow to cook for 10 minutes at 40% heat.
6. Add the curry paste to the pan and stir well before turning back up to 50% heat and cooking for 10 minutes.
7. Turn the pan up to 75% heat and add in the spinach, coconut milk, tinned tomatoes and a few small shakes of salt before mixing well and adding in boiled water if the whole mix still looks a little dry and allow the mix to cook at this level for 5-10 minutes before turning it right down to 20% heat and allowing it too cook slowly for 1-1.5 hours (keep a careful eye on the pot during this period to make sure it doesn't burn or boil over.

Serving suggestions:

Serve the curry with spinach and sweetcorn or lentil samosas, garlic naan bread, mango chutney and pilau rice with a garnish of a few leaves of coriander on top.

Serve with an ice cold glass of water or bottle of Cobra beer and after you've finished eating, have a warm cup of turmeric tea and a vanilla milkshake.

What to do with leftovers:

At the end of the week, if there is any of the curry left after you've eaten most of it, try heating up the remainder in some vegetable stock water with half a teaspoon of saffron, 2 cloves of crushed garlic and 150g of stewed lentils to make some saag paneer dhal soup.

Another option to use up any leftovers is to mildly heat it up and then place in a slightly warmed up paratha wrap with pickled red cabbage, dry vinaigrette slaw, cucumber and mint rajita and then closing up the wrap and lightly toasting it in sesame seed oil so that it can be closed up as an Indian kind of, sort of burrito.

Uncle Ted's Recipes #14: Hearty but light chicken breasts

 Usually this is a type of cooking I reserve for fish and seafood (mainly salmon, prawns or cod) but I tried it tonight with chicken and it works pretty well for that too. This is a hearty dish good enough for any night of the week that can be served with a wide variety of additions and side dishes/foods but first things first, let's get to the point of cooking the chicken first.

Utensils/tools:

1 small meat-cutting knife

1 medium baking tray & 1 oven

greaseproof paper or high-quality tin foil

Plate (you can choose to eat straight from the oven with your hands but I would not recommend it)

Ingredients:

2 medium skinless chicken breast pieces

20-30ml soya sauce

4 garlic cloves

2 teaspoons pickled ginger

1/4 chilli flakes (optional)

2 bay leaves (optional)

Cooking steps/method of preparation:

1. Preheat the oven to 220C double-sided setting.
2. Lay some greaseproof paper or tin foil over the baking tray and place the chicken breasts onto said prepared tray. Use the knife to slice the chicken breasts down lengthways once halfway through and then four times sideways across the original cut a quarter through the chicken meat.
3. Pour the soya sauce all into the cuts made into the chicken but do not worry if it spills over the sides of the chicken pieces and into the parcel of paper/foil you've made on the baking tray.
4. Peel the garlic cloves then use a garlic crusher to crush the garlic over the chicken and then extract all the bits of the crushed garlic and spread over the breast pieces along with the pickled ginger. Alternatively, if you do not have a garlic crusher, get the cloves on a cutting board, crush them with the flat of the blade of a knife (with your hand on the opposite side to stabilize it) and then roughly dice the crushed garlic up.
5. Wrap up the parcel by folding it over the top and twisting either end shut and twisting them upwards.
6. Place the tray into the oven and cook for 25 minutes.
7. Remove from the oven and place onto a plate that has been pre-heated for 3-4 minutes and serve

Uncle Ted's Serving recommendations

• Mash potato, ratatouille and roasted kale (this is my favourite way of serving this kind of chicken as it's probably the easiest to do considering roasted kale is easy to make and most supermarkets sell ready-to-microwave mash and tinned ratatouille).
• Brown rice cooked in vegetable stock, chilli flakes and red kidney beans with a side of wilted spinach and kale.
• Served on top of a udon noodle, vegetable broth and pak choi Chinese-style broth soup.
• Slice the chicken up and then serve it on top of a salad of avocado, petite pois, mint, bulgur wheat, cucumber, bean shoots and chives.
• Serve as part of a South-East-Asian mixed grill including kung-pow pork loin, Vietnamese pork belly bibimbap, chicken teriyaki and tempura beef.

Uncle Ted's recipes #13: Fruit & rum fudge cake

Considering that people have been asked to keep going out to the shops to a minimum during the lockdown I made this easy and minimal cake recipe so that people can have something nice to snack on with a cup of tea during these trying times.

Ingredients (makes 8 portions):
500g mix dried fruit
200-350g clear honey
15ml white rum
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
6 eggs
250g rice flour
250g self-raising flour
2 teaspoons of ground cinnamon (optional)
100-200 diced fudge

Method/cooking process:

1. Pre-heat the oven to 210C double-sided
2. Sift the flour and bicarbonate of soda into a large bowl and then stir together before making a well in the middle
3. Beat the eggs in a jug or large mug before pouring into the centre of the well in the flour mix and folding into the mix until it is largely or entirely mixed in
4. Add in the rum and honey and mix normally until it is all mixed in and if it ends up being too liquidly then add in a few more tablespoons of rice flour and fold it in
5. Mix in the fudge and fruit before placing into a deep oven tray that has been lined with greaseproof paper
6. Place into the oven for 27 minutes while double checking at the 20-25 minute mark to make sure the cake isn't burning
7. Remove from the oven once the cake is finished cooking and remove from the pan before folding the paper down on the sides and letting cool for 2 hours
8. Cut up into eighths and serve with a cup of cinnamon tea or hot chocolate

Uncle Ted's Recipies #12: Vegetarian protein-packed curry

Hey guys hope you're all keeping well, washing your hands and staying safe in these trying times what with the COVID-19 crisis going on at the moment.

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while but I'm going to try and slowly get back to getting a trickle of content slowly back into this blog at the very least and to start that off I've got a made-up-from-scratch vegetarian curry recipe for you all to enjoy! My idea with this one is that it lasts for a few days at least and gets the most as is possible out of the spices lying around in your cupboard. Hopefully you won't have to get too much extra on top of what you already have lying around your place but in any case, I really hope you all enjoy this one or at least find a good way to adapt it.

UTENSILS:

1 Medium saucepan
1 Lid for the saucepan or at least a china plate that can cover it
1 Large-medium frying pan
1 Medium chopping board
1 Large vegetable cutting knife
1 Wooden spoon
1 Medium-small glass jar
1 Teaspoon
1 Tablespoon
Weighing scales if you're bad with judging weighing amounts by eye (no shame if you are bad at that considering no one is perfect)
1 Standard-sized coffee mug

INGREDIENTS:
Basmati rice
1 Large white onion
400-500g Quorn mince or mixed & pre-soaked red & green lentils or pre-marinated tofu
300-400g Pre-soaked Kala Chana or chickpeas
400g Tinned chopped tomatoes
400g Low-fat coconut milk
6-8 Cloves of garlic
Vegetable or sesame oil
Salt
10-15g Dried chilli flakes
8-10 Cardamom pods
5-7.5g Caraway seeds
5-10g Ground smoked paprika
5-10g Ground gram masala
5-10g Ground allspice
7.5-10g Curry powder
5-10g Ground cumin
5-7.5g Dried coriander
A chilled bottle of Cobra, an icy glass of Sauvignon Blanc or a mug of turmeric tea to drink while cooking (optional but recommended)

METHOD/COOKING/PREPERATION:

1- Mix 2-4 tablespoons of the oil along with all of the paprika, allspice, gram masala, cumin, curry powder & half of the chilli flakes along with 4 pinches of salt in the glass jar before sealing it shut, shaking it vigorously for 30-50 seconds and then checking if most of the mixture is mixed together. If not, use the teaspoon to mix it around, close the jar up again and try shaking it for another few seconds and also consider adding in another teaspoon of oil if it looks a tad dry. Wrap the jar of paste in clingfilm and then set aside in your fridge.

2 - Prep the basmati rice by measuring it out by half a coffee cup per person and then washing the rice in cold water with your hand 3-5 times in the pan. Then set aside and place half the corriander and 6-10 pinches of salt into the water.

3 - Begin heating up a couple of hearty glugs of oil in the frying pan at a medium heat. Once you can feel the heat with your hands from a couple of inches above the pan, throw in the remaining chilli flakes, cardamom pods and caraway seeds and toast for 2.5 mins while occasionally mixing and then add in the rest of the coriander and toast for another 2.5 mins. While this is going on, dice up the onion, while being careful not to do the same to your fingers, and add the onion into the frying pan and mix with 6 pinches of salt after the initial spices have finished toasting.

4 - Let the onion & spices simmer for 5-10 minutes while you prepare the garlic and red peppers. While doing this, feel free to add in another touch of oil in case the pan looks like the mix in it is getting a tad dry. Peel the garlic and crush a couple of times with the flat of the knife before pulling apart with your hands and throwing all of the garlic into the frying pan and stirring it for about 5 minutes now and again. While that is going on, prep the peppers by taking out the green tops, cutting in half, hollowing out the white and seeds and then washing before cutting into 1cm wide strips and throwing into the frying pan before mixing in and letting simmer for 5-10 minutes. At this point, add in the protein be that either lentils, tofu or Quorn.

5 - At this point, start heating up the water & rice saucepan onto boil by whacking the ring it is on to full blast. Once the water gets to the point where it is fully boiling you need to turn it down halfway and place the lid/plate over the top and let it simmer until the rice has fully or 95% absorbed the water. During this time, occasionally check on the rice and if it looks like its getting dry, do a taste test and add in a small bit of boiled water from the kettle. Once it is soft but firm & has absorbed all of the water, remove the rice from the head and keep the lid on until you are ready to serve.

6 - After the red peppers have finished simmering for their 5-10 minutes in the frying pan, throw in the rest of the ingredients including the pre-prepared curry paste in the glass jar in the fridge and mix well. Afterwards, turn the frying pan onto boil and letting the curry sauce boil for approximately 10 minutes to reduce the liquid content a little bit by about 1-2cm. Stir regularly while doing this and then turn down to 10% heat and stir occasionally and gently and don't feel afraid to add a splash of boiled kettle water in case it looks a tad dry. This is so that the curry sauce has enough time to let the flavours mellow together and keep warm while the rice finishes cooking.

7 - Once the rice has finished cooking, dish it up onto a mildly warmed-up plate with about 1-3 ladleful's of the sauce per person. You may want to add more or less depending on how hungry you are of course. I recommend serving this with either a butter or garlic naan bread, some green lentil and/or mix vegetable samosas, mango chutney and a chilled bottle of either Kingfisher or Cobra lager. Garnish the curry with a couple of sprigs of fresh coriander and enjoy!

Uncle Ted's Recipes #11: Porky Power Pasta

Ok so before we get into things I'd like to apologise for not having uploaded anything on this blog in quite some time but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things and produce more content on all of my online platforms. Hopefully this is the start of something great but only time will tell but anyway...on with the recipe!

Today we're going to be taking a look at a recipe that I cooked up (pardon the pun) last week while trying to think of what to do with some leftover breakfast meats that I had left over from some fry up breakfasts that I'd made earlier in the week. I had some sausages and bacon leftover that I couldn't really think of any other days last week where I'd want to have them for breakfast so I decided to incorporate them into a nutritious dinner where their saltiness and meaty textures would be nicely complimented. So here we go with the recipe proper and let me know if you guys have any suggestions to change or add to the recipe in the comments below!

Utensils:
1 large iron or cast iron pot or saucepan
1 medium meat slicing or fillet knife
1 medium vegetable knife
1 large chopping board
1 draining sieve or colander
1 fork
1 teaspoon
1 or 2 baking tray(s)
a roll of tin foil (possibly optional)

Ingredients:
1 diced large brown onion
200-300g spinach already washed and drained
100-200g petite pois peas
2 diced medium vine ripe tomatoes
3-6 rashers smoky back bacon
4-6 pork sausages (either standard pork or possibly pork and sage or Cumberland)
700-750g wholegrain fusilli pasta
200-300g Dijon mustard
vegetable oil
salt
ground smoked paprika
dried basil

Cooking method/Cooking steps:

Step 1 - Starting heating the oven on the grill setting to 250C while filling the pan/pot halfway with water and a couple of medium splashes of oil and start heating to the midway point on the dial.

Step 2 - Cover a baking tray with tin foil and then pierce the sausages 2 or 3 times on each side before placing in the tray and baking for 15-16 minutes while turning over halfway through.

Step 3 - Bring the water to a boil and throw in all of the pasta with a few pinches of salt and basil while giving a stir with the fork. Boil the pasta for 10 minutes and stir every 2 minutes very briefly while it is cooking again with the fork.

Step 4 - About 5-6 minutes before the sausages are finished cooking, cover another baking tray with foil and place the bacon in it to bake in the oven, remove the bacon from the oven at roughly the same time as the sausages. Once the meats are cooked, take them onto a chopping board and dice up with the meat knife and place into a bowl on the side for the time being.

Step 5 - When the pasta is cooked, drain it in the colander in the sink but do not lower the heat on the pan. Instead, place the pan back onto the heat and throw in a few splashes of oil along with the onion, a few pinches of salt and stir frequently while it cooks for 5 minutes. After this point, add in a few teaspoons of smoked paprika and stir to mix before adding in the tomatoes and mixing while cooking for another 5 minutes.

Step 6 - throw all of the spinach into the pan and stir until it is all wilted before adding in another pinch of basil and the diced up meat. Stir to mix before throwing in the pasta and mixing that in as well while also turning the heat down to the lowest possible setting.

Step 7 - throw in all of the mustard into the pan and mix in and then leave to heat up for about 3-4 minutes before adding in and mixing in the peas then leave to heat gently for another 4 or so minutes.

Step 8 - Serve on a gently-warmed plate either as it is or with a very light garnishing on top of parmesan and fresh basil leaves. Recommend washing this dish down with either a glass of sparkling water or a fizzy Eurocentric beer like Stella Artois or San Miguel Fresca.

Ted's film reviews: Army of Darkness (released 1992)

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106308/mediaviewer/rm2861960192

Today we have an action film classic that has undeniably and fully deservedly earned its status of being a cult-classic amongst its contemporaries of the genre and when it was made.  However, much like a number of other classic action films and similar media from the 1980s and 1990s, while the quotable bits and iconic scenes have earned their referential icon status, the weaker bits of the film are forgotten about and don't rear their ugly head until you actually watch the piece of media in question.  Ladies and gentlemen, that piece of media of the day is the 1992 cult hit Army of Darkness starring the almighty chin man that is Bruce Campbell.

Made on the back of the two enormously successful and cheaply-made Evil Dead films (released 1981 and 1987), Army of Darkness was a bit of a departure from its predecessors in that it was the first entry into the franchise with a definitively large budget.  Part of the appeal of the first two movies is that, much like a lot of Quentin Tarantino's earlier work, a lot was achieved on a low budget via creative cinematography.  While a similar sense of cinematography being used to cover up the cracks is present in Army of Darkness, it doesn't really feel as genuine or even as effective considering the higher budget and production quality compared to the previous movies.  That isn't to say that the film is bad in terms of the cinematography but I feel that it should've either gone whole hog for being a low-budget skimmer of a movie or a full-blown blockbuster.  Not to say that finding a middle ground in this regard is impossible but that in the case of this movie, it felt a bit over-ambitious on the part of the filmmakers to try to this extent. 

But, as theoretically lopsided as the movie might be, this aspect doesn't ruin the whole meal rather just a small part of it and thankfully, this doesn't take away from the delightfully simple plot.  After the events of Evil Dead II, Ash (played by Bruce Campbell) is transported back in time to a highly fictionalised past where two warring kingdoms are spilling each others blood in the medieval era all while the land is being ravaged by an army of undead monsters and daemons being led by a malevolent undying king.  After proving that he has what it takes to be the hero to retrieve the foul book that is the Necronomicon to reverse the curse placed on this begotten land, Ash is handed his trademark chainsaw arm and sawn-off shotgun before setting off to claim the book for his newfound friends and hopefully find a way back to his time and home.  Through some inevitable hijinks however, the evil king is not immediately defeated and Ash is tasked with fighting off a demonic invasion and uniting the two warring kingdoms while still struggling to survive.

Its a real classic tale format of a badass outsider being plunged into unfamiliar territory that you somehow know, even with that hero's limited knowledge, that they'll deal with like they're poaching some eggs.  This basic tale is spiced up with a, what was at the time modern and topical hero with similarly natured technology, character who acts as a contemporary audience proxy and through a mixture of wit, dumb luck and having A SAWN OFF SHOTGUN, is able to win the day, get the girl and say some memorable lines that live on in movie pop-culture history.

With such a simple plot, one would suspect that the quality of the film throughout isn't much to talk abut especially considering the earlier discussion about the thematic inconsistency with the other films.  Thankfully, the quality of the acting is such that this doesn't really matter and this is supported by some refreshingly simple script writing.  I do like complex acting performances and screenplays as well as scripts but sometimes, while you might fancy a steak tartan, you may also fancy a humble and simplistic beef burger.  The cast and script seem to know from the offset that they're not creating something too deep or 'high art' and as a result they just relish in having fun making a dumb, cheesy and endearingly plain and simple popcorn flick.

Again, as mentioned above, the film is far from perfect.  The acting isn't amazing across the board and Bruce Campbell is the only one who is good throughout the whole movie and the thematic pacing does feel a bit wonky.  Not to mention, the introduction of the main villain feels a tiny bit contrived and its not always clear what the rules are of the new magic and swords world that Ash is adventuring in.  But, as similarly mentioned earlier, the enjoyment factor of the film is quite high and even if you don't ignore its faults, you can still enjoy Army of Darkness as a bit of good old dumb fun.

Camerawork/cinematography: 5.5/10

Writing/screenplay: 6/10

Acting: 7/10

Direction: 7/10

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

Ted's film reviews: Alien (Released 1979)

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/mediaviewer/rm2990766080 

I guess, considering how long it has been since my last blogpost, that I should apologise for not having uploaded anything here in a while.  And while I am sorry, I guess it makes a certain amount of sense considering how many years came between the subject of today's review and its sequel.  That's because the film being reviewed here is the seminal sci-fi horror masterpiece Alien (1979) which for a while was considered something of a lone diamond in the rough until its equally venerated sequel Aliens came out 7 years later.

Thankfully, unlike a lot of film series where the second movie is regarded more highly than the original (see the original Star Wars trilogy (1977-1983)), Alien is on a similar if not equal level of quality as its 1986 sequel albeit for different reasons.  Whereas Aliens is one of the most important action films of the late-20th century with the film influencing many other properties in action moviedom as well as shooting-based video games, Alien has a more central importance to the idea of horror fiction in film particularly more so than the movie does to any other medium.  You only really have to look as far as Event Horizon (1997) as proof of this.  Yet despite Aliens having more of an immediately obvious cultural impact on the wider scape of popular culture and films specifically, I would still say that both films are at least as good as one another in terms of their quality.

And whereas Aliens has its strengths mainly in its pacing, set pieces and action scenes, Alien seems to get the majority of its praises from its atmosphere-building, sense of suspense, acting and the very-impressive-for-its-time practical effects.  Thankfully, these points of praise are very well-founded as we'll discuss in a bite but first, THE PLOT!

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/mediaviewer/rm2611876352 

In the far flung future, humanity has breached the stars of our galaxy and begun to delve into space exploration where explorers are stored in cryogenic pods to survive long trips and wherein these very trips are funded not by governments and space agencies but by private paramilitary corporations.  This is not the hopeful world of exploration seen in the Star Trek franchise but one where humanity barely escaped its own atmosphere and where the crews of many explorations are expendable to companies like the Weyland-Yutani corporation who, in particular, are the ones funding the expedition at the centre of the plot of Alien.  When the film begins, we see the crew of this expedition, including the main character Ripley (played brilliantly by Sigourney Weaver) waking up several weeks early from their destination after having been frozen in cryogenic sleep.  Upon waking, Ripley, along with the rest of the crew of the spaceship Nostromo are alerted to a distress signal and upon finding its location they also uncover a colony of alien-looking egg chambers.  After their detour to this place, the crew go back to the ship and head on their way before quickly realising that they have a murderous and most unwanted guest on their ship.

What I like about the plot, much like a number of seminal action or sci-fi films from the late-1970s to early-1980s, is that the overall concept is rather simple.  No introspective deep thinking in the overall plot, rather the main concept of the story itself is kept as simple as possible meanwhile any philosophising, what little there is, is left up to the people in the movie for character-building moments.  And Alien has a load of these moments such as when the nature of a conversation between the crew about exploration and safety protocols indirectly brings up the drudging prospect of living a sterilised and entirely-for-profit lifestyle under a corporation like the previously-mentioned Weyland-Yutani.  Thankfully, as interesting as these character moments are, they aren't too plodding or overly-frequent to distract away from the action and are instead used to carefully set up a sense of false-security before the eponymous alien explodes into the movie and wreaks havoc.  

Once this period of atmosphere-building is done and dusted we're then made all the more aware of the other two main strengths of the film in the form of the acting and decent, at least for its time, practical and special effects.  The acting in particular is kind of a given towards its high quality when you consider how many spectacular actors and actresses performed on the cast here including Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt and John Hurt.  However, what makes the spread of acting performances so good in this film isn't just the talent amongst the cast but the casting itself specifically.  Weaver, as young as she was in 1979 was easy to take as the scared but pragmatic Ripley while Hurt is enthralling as the wary and weary Kane.  Seriously, whoever was in charge of the casting for this movie, I hope they got a bottle of whiskey and a box of truffles.

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/mediaviewer/rm3452767744 

And the same really has to go for the team who worked on the special and practical effects.  I won't talk too much about it because the practical effects in particular are key to the first big reveal/plot twist of the film involving John Hurt.  However, even though you hear it said about a large number of famous films made around the same time as Alien, it is no less true for this classic.  I feel sometimes that while it hasn't fallen off the map, practical effects isn't as much of a seminal art of sorts in modern cinema as it was in 1979.  Some features like Dunkirk (2017) and Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) do seem to be reviving this underappreciated art and I am eternally grateful for that.  However, if you want to see an example of practical effects in their prime and at their most creative, watch Alien and you will not be disappointed.

Overall, the film is a classic, there really is a sense that all of the legendary praise heaped on this feature is thoroughly deserved and totally not unwarranted.  Its a peculiar situation where, even though I would not say the film is perfect due to some of the acting being sub par and direction at times being run of the mill, I would still say this film is an undeniably excellent film and easily ranked amongst all the classics of the sci-fi genre including the films that are indeed perfect.  Conclusion:  watch this film and then watch its sequels pronto.

Camerawork/cinematography: 8/10

Directing: 7.5/10

Writing: 8.25/10

Acting: 9.5/10

Personal enjoyment: 10/10

Film review: Starship Troopers (released 1997)

With the 20th anniversary of this violent sci-fi classic being last year, which also coincided with the release of the animated feature Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars, I figured now that was as good a time as any to review this bloodthirsty classic.  

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120201/mediaviewer/rm611522560?ref_=tt_ov_i

But before we look in-depth at the significance of the film, we must first look at the equivalent aspect of its source material. The original novel that Starship Troopers is based on was published way back in 1959 and written by the legendary and ahead-of-his-time liberal writer Robert A. Heinlein. Big man Rob was definetly a unique mind amongst mainstream sci-fi writers in the age of segregation and sexual closetedness in western media in the 1940s-60s. In a stark contrast to some writers of his similar popularity in the mainstream at the time, Heinlein featured a number of storylines with protagonists, and main ones at that, of colour and themes that expressed sexual freedom and liberal individualism. 

In the original Starship Troopers book, we see a proto-facist military society fighting against a bug-like alien army with a force of heavily armoured and mechanised infantry. Throughout this relatively small novel, we repeatedly read about scenes of the higher-ups in this society acting as if their near constant politicking and beaurocratic management is helping to win the war. In actuality, it is the highly trained soldiers in their supremely advanced mech suits that are winning the war with skill and bravery. In a sense, the original book is taking a jab at the beaurocratic nature of such goverments and the actions of politicians in heavily militaristic societies taking credit for advancements and victories that are gained via the efforts of others upon their command. However, there is this running theme throughout the book that war and conflict are intrinsic parts of human nature. This might've been more relevant in the mid-1940s-late-1950s when the nuclear arms race and cold war were really picking up speed in the wake of the Second World War (1939-45) and the Korean War (1950-53). But, in a moment of brutally poor timing for the intended message of the book, the Vietnam war (1961-75) would properly break out a few years later and thus the public perception would change in much of the west towards the national duty to wage war in the sake of liberty. Especially after events like the Tet Offensive (1968), many in places like the USA, Canada and UK realised that gaining liberty and emancipation was possible through less violent means. An interesting and well-written book with a controversial but thought-provoking message indeed. A message with horrendous timing? Absolutley.

Therefore, does the film adaptation made almost 40 years later show any alternations to the original themes and messages of the book and indeed Heinlein's overall ethos that he showed in his writing? For starters, the film does represent a proto-facist and highly militaristic society at war with a bug species known as the arachnids. However there are a few big differences. The first is visually obvious in that the soldiers in the film are used and equipped much more as simple mobile infantry and thus, incur heavy casualties in gruesome fashion. Second, the society that our main characters serve is framed in stark contrast with a decidedly less political and much more satirical edge. Whereas war is seen in the book as a natural part of human nature, the film sees it as one part of our world that we would do well to try and steer clear of considering how much it can damage the younger generations. Considering the carnage amongst the mobile infantry of the Earth Federation during the iconic scene showing the assault on the planet Klendathu, the film can also be seen as making use of the events of the Vietnam War that happened after the book came out as an allegory for that very same conflict. What I mean by this is that the landing of Klendathu scene, on top of being a badass action scene and having an iconic song named after it, is a decent allegory for the Vietnam war; showing a technologically superiror invading army being unanimously humiliated by an arguably more simplistic and less advanced enemy. Case in point, you should not go to war unless it is absolutely necessary and you should also never treat your enemy with no respect.

So enough about postulating and theorising, how good is the film itself? Well, while I think it is very enjoyable I have to admit that it is quite dumb. Quite dumb indeed. Now that isn't the fault of the source material and deeper message of the film which as mentioned above, are fairly intelligent. Rather, this is down to some of the acting and a great deal of the dialogue being a tad over the top and kind of silly. One example is a scene towards the beginning of the film where Casper Van Dien's Johnny Rico and his girlfriend Carmen Ibanez (played by Denise Richards) flirt in the middle of class over an inter-school messaging system. Despite being a decently themed scene, the facial acting of both actors and the way the visuals are designed makes the whole thing cheesier than a plate of Hunters Chicken. Well...to be honest, the numerous romance scenes are all like that. In fact, I would perhaps not centre a war film around romance but rather survival. Although...I would imagine that romance was not a central theme of the original book so it was used as an interesting additional way of showing the distruction of the younger generations through conflict in the film. Admittedly, while the camerawork isn't absolutely sensational, it does the job fine and frames the secenes of particular carnage very well. Same thing goes for the acting too...I guess. It isn't anything on the levels of the peformances seen in Apocalypse Now (1979) but again, like the cinematography it does its job fine enough.

One area where the film peforms really well but perhaps shouldn't is in the soundtrack. I say this because the film mainly centres the soundtrack, without much variation on the song from the Kledathu drop. Now I am not complaining, as said above, it is a good tune for this kind of movie. Furthermore, its only really used in scenes where its really necessary for mood-setting.

In conclusion, I would not expect a great deal of hypothesising in this film or really in-depth conversations about warfare and the destructive impact it can make on the minds of otherwise healthy men and women. Again, if you want a piece of that pie, you really should do yourself a solid and watch Apocalypse Now. Or, I would also point out the interesting way this topic is analysed in other films like Full Metal Jacket (1987) or Wings of Honneamise (1987). Mind you though, Starship Troopers, even if you ignore its background, is still a thoroughly entertaining war film and packs more than enough blood 'n' guts for all you meatheads out there. It certainly has a hearty dose for ol' Ted here. On top of this, the actors all look good, the soundtrack does well enough, the direction is generally pretty decent and it has Denise Richards in it who is always nice to see in a well-dressed military uniform and smiling. I...may have revealed a bit much there but...in any case, watch this film as it is a blast. In fact, watch the animated films Starship Troopers: Invasion (2012) and Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars (2017) as well as the poorly-aged but still decent cgi cartoon Roughnecks (1999-2000) and ignore the two sequels to the original film and you will have a good summary of this franchise.

Camerawork/Cinematography: 5.5/10
Direction: 6/10
Sound/soundtrack/sound design: 7.8/10
Writing & plot: 7/10
Acting: 5.25/10

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

Film review: Absentia (released 2011)

When you think of indie horror films your mind might end up wandering to either one of two places. One could be an artful horror thought-piece like the legendary Vertigo (1958) directed by Alfred Hitchcock where the budget is larger than one would expect for a film like this and where the definition of 'indie' is generally a bit stretched. And secondly, your mind could end up conjuring up thoughts of films that use their smaller budgets to their advantage by allowing simplicity and use of camerawork to enhance the atmosphere.

This is where today's topic, the 2011 release Absentia comes in. And where it nearly wastes the oppourtunity to make its simplicity and interesting camerawork enhance the film to the fullest extent.

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1610996/mediaviewer/rm1922807552?ref_=tt_ov_i

Now let me just say that this is not necessarily a bad film.  It could have been so much better and is generally let down by some flat performances in certain scenes and bizarre plotting towards the end of the film. BUT, it and the filmmakers try their damned hardest to make a truly great horror/thriller. I always prefer a film to fail ironically while being unironically serious wether it turns into a befuddled mess like this film or becomes an unintentional comedic masterpiece like Manos: The Hands of Fate  (1966). If you have a film that is just straight up bad and aware of it while trying to do nothing to at least try and be good or change certain things, you just end up feeling drained and bored.  Wether Absentia turned into a comedy or not because of its failings, I still would admire it for its artistic vision and interesting concepts both in cinematography and plot.

The cinematography, I personally feel, is this film's strongest aspect. Whereas many indie or low-budget horror films would simply rely on shot-reverse shot or close-up camerawork to convey scares, Absentia rarely relies on this kind of filmmaking unless it ABSOLUTLEY has to. Many of the scenes where a particular mood is being set are shot from the back so that we get an impression of the character being framed is going though a thought process on how to approach the situation that they are faced with. Its a bit difficult to describe more than that, but, for most of the film, you feel like you're watching what is going on screen along with the character being framed in the scene. As a result, even in some of the more dour and less-interesting scenes, the mood is enhanced by pretty damn solid cinematography.

Another area where the film might not be as strong, but still deserves praise, is its plot. Despite my misgivings, the concept of the plot at least is a thoroughly engrossing draw. Tricia (played by Courtney Bell) has been living in her house for 5 years debating on wether or not to declare her long-missing husband Daniel (played by Morgan Peter Brown) dead while also coming to terms with her own pregnancy and the possibility of moving out. Just as she decides to follow through with signing off the paperwork for both of these big decisions, Tricia's former drug-addict sister Callie (played by Catherine Parker) comes to stay and help her through moving house and the emotions of declaring Daniel dead. But, just as this and the romancing advances of Detective Mallory (played by Dave Levine) begin to develop, mysterious incidents start popping up around Callie and Tricia in ways that reveal a great deal about their flaws. This sounds like the perfect plot for a narrative threaded together with plot twists and intrigue and, for the most part, that is the case. However, towards the end of the film, this aspect of the whole feature goes and craps its breeches.

If there was one major criticism I could levy at the film, it would be the thoroughly disappointing ending/third act where any semblance of realism or mystique goes out the window for some baffling exposition. The moment when the film has a metaphorical stroke is when Callie breaks character from being a nervous but steady-headed quizzical woman of faith into being a raving nutcase when she reels off some crazy theory about the walk tunnel near Tricia's house. A theory that, despite lack of real evidence, Callie and the film treat absolutely seriously without questioning it despite her sources all being alternative and minor news websites. This moment is sandwiched by insane moments that contradict the theme and style of the film where visions of monsters haunting Tricia's neighbourhood are revealed to possibly be real and not just the understandable hangover hallucinations from when Callie still abused heroin. From here on out towards the end of the film, the whole feature just forgets what its been building up and shits the bed and in turn becomes a most generic thriller in the third act. Aside from a genuinely haunting last couple of scenes, the final act of Absentia is definitely the movie's weak link.

But is this damming enough to make the film a bad one? In terms of its finish; yes. In terms of the film overall?; a little bit but this shouldn't downplay the other qualities that Absentia has on offer. Like I said above, the cinematography is great as is the writing and plotting for the first 75% or so of the film. On top of this, in combination with the camerawork, the music/soundtrack helps enhance the ethos and theme of many scenes to a fantastic extent as does the performances of Morgan Peter Brown and Catherine Parker who are the two powerhouse performers amongst the cast. However, the lack of a quality final act is still galling and really drags the film down, had this not been the case I would have said Absentia was the best horror film of 2011.

Direction: 7/10
Writing: 6.5/10
Camerawork/cinematography: 9.5/10
Plot: 4.75/10
Acting: 6.85/10

Personal enjoyment: 6.25/10

Batman the Dark Knight Returns (parts 1 and 2) review

Hello there ladies and gentlemen! I know that me disappearing for months on end is kind of a running theme on this blog but its one that I'm really trying hard to do away with.  However, as the old saying goes; the show must go on!

And what better way to introduce this new wave of hope and optimism by reviewing a fine bit of media courtesy of our good friends at the University of Sussex Sci-Fi & Horror Society?

But t'was not a film that we saw this time, or at least one in the commonly accepted sense, but rather a 2-part animated mini-series based on the legendary 1986 graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson, Denny O'Neil and Lynn Varley.

The Dark Knight Returns comic book cover: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dark_Knight_Returns

Batman the Dark Knight Returns part 1 cover: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2313197/mediaviewer/rm2876679936?ref_=tt_ov_i

Batman the Dark Knight Returns part 2 cover: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2166834/mediaviewer/rm1483283200?ref_=tt_ov_i

To put a long story short, this well-regarded bit of comic book history envisions a much older Bruce Wayne (aka Batman) coming out of retirement after over a decade away from crimefighting to find the fictional city of Gotham being besieged from all quarters and alleys by all manner of curs and vagabonds.  Through the use of tactics that are considerably more aggressive and violent than those used by the Caped Crusader in his previous couple of decades of lore and adventuring, Batman tackles a city-wide gang called The Mutants.  But as this conflict with the dirt of Gothams' society reveals the full extent of Batman's motives and methods, he comes into conflict with the new commissioner of the Gotham City police department as well as his old mate Superman.  Will Batman cling to his position as a hero of the people and the old-fashioned way of tackling crime or bow down to the establishment and their methods?

I'll refrain from describing the synopsis of the film any more than this for fear of spoiling the story for anyone wanting to watch both parts of Batman the Dark Knight Returns.  But, I will say that the main draw of both the book and the miniseries is how it narratively presents a well-established and widely known character in a way that they hadn't been presented in close to a similar fashion since the 1940s.  Between the 1950s and mid-1980s, Batman as a character generally became less violent and aggressive as compared to his classic comic adventures in the 1930s and 40s.  There are a wide number of factors that could form some interesting theories as to why this happened such as the rise of the 'peace and love' movement in the late-1960s and the outcry in American popular media against events such as other violent comic stories and the Vietnam War amongst other similar incidents. There is a general consensus in the analysis of 1980s pop culture in the west that there was a, somewhat brief but nonetheless impactful, rejection of this widespread message in western media in many, albeit not all quarters.  Hence, when watching films like Cobra (1986 starring Sylvester Stallone) or Death Wish 2 (1982 starring Charles Bronson), you're likely to see either some hard-ass rule-breaker or old and weary battle-scarred warrior taking on the 'weirdos' and 'freaks' who had been seen to have infiltrated US or UK society during the 1960s and 70s.  There is an element of this in both parts of Batman the Dark Knight Returns but what makes this reflective theme of tackling social hardships more interesting is that it is presented in this case with a character at the forefront who had spent about 20-25 years going against this trend somewhat before the original graphic novel came out.

So is the story of the miniseries, adapted from the book, any good in a qualitative sense? Generally speaking, I think this is one of the most seminal comic books of all time and both parts of the mini series, released in 2012 and 2013 respectively, adapt from it in a respectful and broadly competent and satisfying manner. The original story of the graphic novel was already an interesting draw from the offset and after that, is well-written throughout.  However, if there is one criticism that you could levy at the miniseries is that the graphic novel it is inspired by is perhaps one of the most of-its-time comics made in a long, long time.  This isn't much of an issue really, but, it does mean that some of the messages from the original comic could've maybe done with being adapted to stay relevant when the social issues facing western pop-culture had changed a lot by 2012-13.  But, to turn back around yet again, it might also be a great testament to this story's long-standing quality and reputation that even in 2012, still resonates just a little bit.

Although not all of the of-its-time stuff in the miniseries should be taken this seriously such as the absolutely baffling scene where Batman does battle with an MP-40 sub-machinegun-wielding criminal henchwoman with muscles to rival Batman's and wearing nothing but combat boots, grey combat trousers and swastika-shaped nipple pasties.

...

Oh you think I'm joking?

image link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2166834/mediaviewer/rm2631477248?context=default&ref_=tt_pv_md_4

Just...WHY?

I know I have some tastes that I might not share with everyone I know or might ever come to know but I think that even in the context of the 1980s this is still bizarre. But alas, wherever there is something that can be marginally sexualised on the internet there is some loony bin doing just that. I can't say I'm all that surprised though, after all, the original Dark Knight Returns graphic novel was released not even 45 years after the 2nd World War (1939-45) had ended so this could perhaps be explained by the cultural hangover from that conflict. This would also explain the populist position that Batman takes on further into the 2-part miniseries and how, while netting him and the people of Gotham short-term benefits, is perhaps not the healthiest approach to solving all of the city's issues in the long run. Then again, Batman is more capable at tackling much of the criminals even this late into his career than a largely bumbling local government. Therefore, I guess how moral his populist takeover of the people's opinions and minds through action later on is down to an individual's own perspective.

But still...that scene with the Nazi henchwoman will never leave my mind.  No matter how much vodka and/or coffee I drink.

I guess that is in no small part down to the art and design of the two-part feature which, like the graphic novel is superb. Batman is large and blocky in his design in stark contrast to many of the slim and agile characters around him giving this contrast of Batman being set in his old, stoic ways as a new way of taking on the evils of the world outpaces him.  Even without this insight, the art is just generally good and isn't too noisy or overdesigned but neither is it too simplistic.  Its not the best I've ever seen in a feature like this but its damn solid and does its job really well.  As does the colour scheme and direction of the film which generally takes a dark hue as much of Batman's activities are undertaken at night. This gives Batman the impression of some brooding, dark and contemplative vengeful demon of the night which coincidentally was just how his character in the comics was starting to become around the time of when the graphic novel originally came out.

Image source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2166834/mediaviewer/rm2564368384

So, before we conclude this cavalcade of Batman being awesome we should go onto what I feel is the strongest part of the miniseries. For me, there is no doubt that it has to be the voice-acting.  Maybe its a bit of bias from Robocop (1987) being my favourite film but I have to say that Peter Weller is my joint 1st place favourite incarnation of the character alongside the one in Batman the Animated Series (1992-1995) voiced by Kevin Conroy.  Other solid voice-acting performances throughout the feature come from Ariel Winter who plays a young Batman fangirl called Carrie Kellly who takes up the mantle of the next Robin and Michael Emerson who has a small part as Batman's most iconic villain; The Joker.  Emerson's portrayal of the character isn't my favourite.  But, to be fair, that is in part because the design for the character in this mini-series doesn't really fit the way that he speaks. Emerson's portrayal, as short as it is, takes an interesting approach to the clown of crime by portraying him as more of a slimy schemer than some insane whirlwind of madness with Joker's theme of insanity bubbling more under the surface of his character here.  Everyone does a commendable job though and even the weaker performances are still decent enough and do an above average job at portraying their characters.

So after all is said and done, would I recommend both parts of Batman the Dark Knight Returns?  If you want something that takes a bit more liberties and risks with its interpretation of the source material it might be a better idea to look elsewhere. However, the original graphic novel has a feel to it that screams out for a animated adaptation and while the two-part mini-series really doesn't change much, its still very entertaining.  Yes, the source material might be a bit too of-its-time for some people but this doesn't weigh the overall project down in terms of its intrinsic quality in my opinion.  Even this many years after pen was put to paper to introduce this idea of Batman being a weary but still tough hard old bugger to the mythos of his series, the graphic novel still holds water and its animated adaptation will surely do the same for a while yet.

Acting/Voice-acting: 9/10

Direction & Art-direction: 7.75/10

Soundtrack: 5/10

Action & animation: 7.15/10

Plot, writing & narrative: 6/10

Personal enjoyment: 8.5/10

Uncle Ted's recipes #10: Sublime seafood pasta

Sorry to all you little dearies that I haven't done a recipe in a good while but I recently thought of this recipe from scratch and thought it'd be great to share with you all.

ALERGY WARNINGS: Contains white wine, seafood and dairy.  May also contain nuts in garnishing.

INGREDIENTS (SERVES 3-5):

2 Medium white onions

18.5 cl white wine

250-400g mixed seafood (I used mussels, squid and prawns but feel free to add whatever seafood you fancy)

1.25-2 cups of frozen peas

175-200g fresh leaf spinach

400-500g linguini

11g dried parsley

3 teaspoons mustard

150-200g crème fraiche

3-5 g mixed Mediterranean herbs

a pinch of salt

olive oil

UTENSILS/TOOLS:

1 Large cutting knife

1 Large chopping board

1 sieve or colander

1 or 2 teaspoons

1 very large frying pan

1 large saucepan

1 fork

1 wooden spoon

METHOD/COOKING PROCESS:

1)- Start by filling the saucepan about 2/3 or halfway with cold water,  then add in a small bit of olive oil. Start the water on towards the boil.  

2)- Add some olive oil into the frying pan and turn it onto the lowest heat possible.  Dice up the onions on the board after peeling the skin off then chuck them into the frying pan.  Turn up the heat to about medium or mid-high and mix in a pinch of salt while briefly stirring.  Keep simmering the onions for about 10 mins until softened.

3)- When the onions are softened, add in the white wine and mix.  Then simmer for about 5 mins to pasteurise the alcohol. While this is simmering, wash, rinse and add in the spinach and add into the sauce.  Give the spinach about 5 mins to welt then start stirring it in.

4)-  After adding the spinach and wine, chuck in the crème fraiche and mustard and mix into the sauce. When both have been fully combined, add in the herbs and mix again. After doing this, turn the frying pan back down to either a low or mid-low heat.

5)- Put the pasta/linguini into the saucepan and bring to the boil.  Boil the pasta for 9 minutes and make sure to stir every 2 or 3 minutes that it boils with a fork in order to help prevent the pasta from congealing and sticking together.  After the pasta is boiled, drain it and let it do so for about 2-3 mins over the saucepan off of the hob.

6)-  About 4-5 minutes into the pasta boiling, add both the seafood and peas into the sauce in the frying pan and mix until the ingredients are all combined.  After doing this, turn the hob that the frying pan is off but keep it on the hob for the rest of the time that the pasta is boiling.

7)- When the pasta has finished draining, add it into the frying pan and remove from the hob. Then mix together until the pasta has been partially submerged into the sauce and everything is mixed together.  Be sure to make sure that you have a very large frying pan.

8)- Dish onto mildly warmed plates with a wooden spoon and salad spoon or something similar. 

SERVING SUGGESTION:

Serve along with a glass of pinot grigio or sauvignon blanc and a mildly warm rosemary and sea salt focaccia bread and mixed green leaf salad.

A possible garnish would also be to sprinkle toasted pine nuts on top after serving but only do this if no one has a nut allergy.