New film review #12: Philomena

Warning: this review contains some spoilers, read on at your discretion

OK, I'll'll say it up front, I apologise if any of you have never heard of this flick.  I mean it is exclusively centred around the nature of British criticality and the simplicity of Irish Catholicism set against the backdrop of a real-life story that occurred between the 1950s and the early 2000s.  Now before you think "Oh come on Ted, a small-time British niche film based upon a real-life story?  That sounds boring as shit!".  Now before you put down your mince pie and cup of coffee let me just correct you there.  Real-life-based films can indeed be a right pile of steaming shit (see the likes of The Blind Side (2009)), some can turn into what I like to call unappreciated unsuccessful (E.g. Glory (1989), The Last Samurai (2003) and Valkyrie (2008)). And while I sadly feel that Philomena will fall under that category, I do still think it is a damn touching and well-done film that deserves success and respect for pointing out issues that some people are uncomfortable talking about and a story about determination, perseverance and sadness.

Basically the story of this film is as of such.  Based on the real story behind the book The Lost Child of Philomena Lee (2009) written by former BBC television and radio presenter Martin Sixsmith (although since the mid-2000s he has had a fortunate resurgence in career), the film follows Martin (played adeptly by Steve Coogan) helping an elderly Irish lady named Philomena (again played adeptly this time by Judi Dench) find her long-lost son Anthony who was born out of wedlock while Philomena was working at a nunnery in the 1950s.  While Martin and Philomena go along their journey across Catholic Ireland and then the United States of America where her son was taken after he was separated from her by the nuns in a cruel money-making scheme where they sell Irish children to rich American travellers for large amounts of money, Martin helps Philomena see a bit more depth into her deep connection to Irish Catholicism and the events at the nunnery that seemingly scared her for much of her life until she was fortunately able to find out what happened to her son (who was renamed Michael when he arrived in the USA).  Sadly as the film progresses we find out that Michael died in 1995 from AIDS after a long an prosperous career as a lawyer to the Reagan and Bush Sr administrations and a happy relationship with his partner Pete Olsson.  This then prompts Philomena and Martin to go on a two-person crusade across a large part of the rest of the USA before finally returning to the nunnery in Ireland where this all started for a final clarification of the end of the story and potent criticism of the social injustices that can come about as a result of the misuse of religious authority and hegemony in a deeply religious society.

Now taking that into account, you have probably guessed that this film is not as action-packed as the last few films that I have reviewed on this blog, but really?  I think that works in Philomena's favour.  Not only is it a sad film with an important social message but its a stead-paced and largely peaceful film that while serving this social commentary up to you as bluntly as possible, also shows what a life of cynicism in the industry of journalism can do to a person's happiness and outlook on their own lives as well as the world indeed in general.  The film achieves this latter point mainly by expressing the changes in character and the emotional mixtures within the characters via the marvellous portrayal of the real-life characters in the film such as Sixsmith by Coogan and Philomena herself by Dench.  Probably the only other roles you might remember at all after this film is over is the surprisingly heart-warming and yet wordless portrayal of Michael/Anthony through a mixture of home-videos from decades ago juxtaposed against performances by Sean Mahon and the very young Harrison D'Ampney.  The role of nun Hildegarde who is given the role of focal point of the criticisms aimed at the social impact of Irish Catholicism and in turn religion in general in this film is brilliantly portrayed as a cold, heartless and callous old witch both as a young nun in the 1950s by Kate Fleetwood and then as the aforementioned bitter, old nun in the early 2000s by Barbara Jefford.

This last role in the film in particular is given particular depth simply through her screen presence, the direction of Stephen Fears and the portrayal, of course, of the evil nun by Fleetwood and Jefford in turn.  In all honesty, the scene showing the young Anthony being taken away to America, the eventual discovery that he died of AIDS and in turn the discovery about the administrative corruption of the nuns running the nunnery provides a solid background for the film's strong portrayal of the negative impacts of religion.  But really, this is all given the focal point and true face of mean old sister Hildegarde who I can without hesitation, say is one of the most hateful movie villains that I have ever seen.  Not that it isn't a pleasure to see such an interesting performance by both Fleetwood and Jefford in portraying the mean old lady and how cheer-worthily-entertaining it is to see the confrontation between the elderly nun and an incensed and sweary Martin at the end of the film over the injustices done against Philomena.  Now while this will most definitely cause some raised eyebrows amongst supporters of or believers in Christianity, I believe that some criticism of the social impact of religion in intimate films such as Philomena is just what the doctor ordered.

To give a personal edge and spin onto this issue (which lets face it, is something I don't really do much of anyway), I used to be religious myself when I was younger as I used to believe in Judaism.  However, some time after I had my Bar-Mitzvah when I was 13 I became disillusioned about believing in religion in general as I never felt as strong a connection to the religion as some of my more Jewish relatives might do so.  I still go round my Grandmother's house now and again to celebrate events like passover, Jewish new-year and Channucka (I might have spelt that wrong) but I do so purely out of respect for my roots and to spend some quality time with the relatives on my mother's side of the family.  So when I saw the extent to which Philomena followed Irish Catholicism to the extent that it actually emotionally distraught her for many years, I felt a strange and compelling emotional connection and kinship of sorts to the character both in terms of the real Philomena that the film was talking about and the character that Dench portrays through her excellent acting skills despite my current and stern belief in atheism.  Therefore, while there isn't much heart-pounding action in this film whatsoever, the emotional and well-done acting and direction, fabulous storytelling and great social commentary was enough to keep me hooked.

The other main factor that helped to keep me hooked on this film throughout its running time however had to be the comedy which features not a great deal of laughs but laughs that nonetheless show how likeable the person Dench portrays is and the humorous clashes that occur when cynical atheism clashes with simple and conservative, semi-religious values in not so much an angry but more so accidental and innocent manner in the dialogue between Sixsmith and Philomena.  Some of you who are not so familiar to British social comedy might want to brush up on the genre a little bit before watching the film so that you can truly appreciate these golden nuggets of laughter.  But thank the lord! Uh...I mean thank goodness.  Thank goodness that the comedy is there nonetheless as it adds even further depth to the film on top of the social commentary and the gloriously brilliant acting.  Particularly, these comedic moments happen during Martin and Philomena's spats over the validity of basing your ethics on a religion, when Philomena shows how old-fashioned she is in her attitudes and sensibilities and when the two discuss books and what happened to them in the past.  Now admittedly, that might initially seem a little bit boring in terms of the basis needed for good comedy but I assure you, in the same way that peanut butter and chocolate are a surprisingly good combination on toast, these comedic moments really shine out as being both funny and highlighting the emotional connection between Philomena and Martin as they make their, in turn, emotional journey to find truth.

In conclusion I would say that this film is a must-see if you like a good laugh while learning an important ethical and/or philosophical lesson (and don't contradict me, there is a difference between those two subjects).  The direction is simple but well-done, the acting too is simple in showing relatively plain characters in modern British society with a paintwork of excellent acting skills by Judi Dench and good old Steve Coogan.  As mentioned before, the social commentary about the social impact and power of religion might strike an uncomfortable chord with some viewers but I would still recommend the film as its message needs to be heard.  As of now the film has won 11 awards and was nominated for 6 others so I don't really think that does anything less than speak of how much you should give this film the chance if you ever have the chance to do so in turn.  Seriously, go watch this film.

Also before I give the rating I would like to give a shout-out to a fellow blogger I knew in college before I started my Gap year and she went off to study at Duhram university.  Her name is Eliza and she offers a humorous and honest perception of student life starting off at university and raises some interesting points (so far the best one has been about living with the opposite gender and smoking) so I'd strongly recommend that you check her blog out: http://howtodoolittle.blogspot.co.uk/

Camera-work: 7.5/10
Characters/Acting: 10/10
Storyline/Plot/action: 8.75/10
Direction:  7.5/10

OVERALL RATING: 33.75/40

Ted R's top tens #1: The top ten largest empires in history

I've always liked lists for some reason.  And regardless of how much that may make me sound like a total loser, there is something perplexing about listing off your top ten best or worst examples of certain things.  If you don't believe me then just try watching you tube channels/shows like TFTW or Watch Mojo which solely consist of top tens on a wide range of subjects.  So taking into account the popularity of such lists I decided that I'd follow suit and start doing my own top tens alongside the usual reviews in order to add a little bit of variety to the proceedings of this blog.   To further add to the variety of these top tens I have decided that unlike the reviews, they will be about pretty much anything, and to start off with I have chosen one of my favourite subjects, history! Now enough with the rambling exposition, let's get cracking with the top ten empires that spread across the world like nasty rashes made out of exploitation, politicking and military might.

#10: The Portuguese empire 1415-2002 (greatest size-6.98% of the planet)

Despite the fact that the sunny paradise of Portugal has always been a small country with a smaller population (even today it roughly numbers between 10-11 million), it was the aptly-named 'Portuguese Overseas Empire' or Imperio Portuguese that became the world's first 'global' empire.  This all began in 1419 when Portuguese sailors used the country's maritime wealth and strength to travel the world, opening up many previously undiscovered sea routes and making the country rich off of the trade of spices and souvenirs from far away lands. 

 The process of Portugal's expansion and discovery of new and wonderful places sped up in 1488 when Bartolomeu Dias rounded the 'cape of good hope' and 10 years later when Vasco De Gama landed in India, further paving the way for Portuguese expansion by establishing the largest territories of the Portuguese empire and introducing the Portuguese Language to Southern America.  This continued further with the illustrious albeit accidental discovery of Brazil by Pedro Alvares Cabral who introduced the Portuguese language to what would become the empire's biggest territory.  Over the next 80 years, Portugal further expanded its influence by establishing trade posts in far away lands like Japan, the Middle East and East Africa before slowly entering into an alliance with the more powerful Spanish empire between 1580-1640 in order to keep its own domains safe.  

However, this came with unintended side-effects as the Portuguese empire was repeatedly attacked by Spain's three main enemies during the 17th century (The Dutch Republic, France and England) which resulted in a slow decline over the next 300 years marked by the independence of Brazil in 1822, the Goa crisis in 1961, the African colonial wars in the mid 1970s and the handing-over of the Macau territory to China in 1999 which essentially marked the end of the Portuguese empire.

#9: The Abbasid Caliphate 750-1258  (greatest size-7.45% of the planet)

There are many empires in history that have come so close to achieving their ultimate aims but have been turned back at the last moment by either a cultural movement, a disastrous battle and/or military campaign or a period of stagnation and the mighty yet ill-fated Islamic Abbasid Caliphate is no exception.  When it started out, the Caliphate encompassed only the region around Baghdad in modern Iraq but occupied lands stretching from the edge of Afghanistan, through the Caucasus underneath Russia, through Turkey and the middle-east and onwards to Morocco at its height in the late 9th century.  The empire initially was a huge superpower and a massive threat to the fractured Christian states of the Mediterranean and further deep into Europe, if the huge might of the Caliphate's armies could gain a foothold in Europe then this would mean that the empire could one day reach the glorious height of the legendary Roman empire.  

Yet despite the respect of the leaders of the empire being descended from one of the prophet Muhammad's uncles and the fact that the Caliphate ruled over some of the most holiest sites in the Muslim world. The 'golden age' of the empire where any resistance to expansion in Morocco and Spain was ferociously crushed between 750 and 900 began to start to fade after local 'emirs' in modern Iraq and Iran began to exert independence from the central government near the end of the 9th century and create their own territories with minimal adherence to the main Caliph.  This in turn resulted in a spree of similar occurrences where local generals and rulers began to cede from the central government and form their own, smaller Caliphates across the empire.  

Eventually the rule of the Abbasid Caliphs ended in 1258 when Baghdad was sacked by the Mongols but was reinstated 3 years later in Egypt where the Abbasid dynasty ruled the empire in part until the country was taken over by the Ottoman Turkish empire in 1519 marking the end of the Caliphate for good.

#8: The French Colonial Empire 1534-1980 (greatest size-8.73% of the planet)

Throughout the history of Europe, France has continually fought against England (later Great Britain), Spain and Germany either one at a time or all at the same time.  In turn this rivalry between France, Spain and England prompted the French government in the middle of the 16th century to establish small colonies in North Africa and America, the Caribbean and India. By far the greatest success of this early colonial French empire was the successful support given by the French government to anti-British revolutionaries during the American war of Independence (1775-1781).  However, unfortunately for the early-era French empire, the continuous defeats of French armies and navies by the forces of Great Britain, The Dutch Republic, the German state of Prussia and the Russian empire particularly between 1700-1815 kept this stage of expansion from proceeding much further.

As the last vestiges of Napoleon I's rule died off after the legendarily climactic and bloody battle of Waterloo in 1815 however, the French began to once more expand their power and influence across the world beginning with the occupation of North and West Africa and then moving onto Madagascar, some southern pacific islands and later territories in China, Vietnam, and Korea.  This new wave was based on the retrospectively racist assumption summed up by Jules Ferry that "The higher races have a right over the lower races, they have a duty to civilise the inferior races".  

Yet despite the 'golden age' of the French empire in the late 19th and early 20th century, France's colonial strength did not last as the country was invaded and occupied in 1940 by Nazi Germany followed by the occupation of North Africa by Italy and Far East Asia by Japan.  After the Second World War ended in 1945 and France was once more free the French government attempted to re-establish colonial rule in all the former provinces but was fouled in these attempts by defeat at battles such as Dien Bien Phu in 1953 in Vietnam and the rise of western anti-imperialism in the 1950s and 60s.

#7: Chinese Yuan Dynasty 1271-1368 (greatest size-9.40% of the planet)

When the Mongolian empire expanded into China and conquered the territory of the Song dynasty in southern China, the Mongol leader Kublai Khan established what is called in the Chinese language Da Yuan Digou.  When he conquered this territory, Kublai not only became emperor of China but also supreme Khan amongst all Khans of the Mongolian empire resulting in a level of power that had not been seen since his grandfather Genghis  had ruled the empire before his death in the early 1220s.  Yet despite the successful establishment of the Yuan empire, Kublai was pressed by his councils into expanding the Yuan territories resulting in vicious wars with what remained of the Song empire at battles such as  the climactic clash at Yamen in 1279.

After Kublai's death in 1294, a succession of rulers attempted to continue Kublai's policy of cultural diversity, accepting trade from Europe and making peace with smaller kingdoms such as Vietnam and Korea.  This ended however with the rule of emperor Wuzong ( ruled 1307-1311) which saw the Yuan Dynasty fall into slow economic decline after some ill-advised monetary reforms to the economy.  Emperor Ayurbarwada however managed to reverse much of the Yuan empire's misfortune by reforming the Yuan empire's social and local administrative systems, codifying much of the Yuan law system and embracing Chinese culture more than previous leaders had done.  This period of improvement did not last much longer however as by the time of the dynasty's collapse in 1368, the country was rife with civil-war, famine, political divisions and economic recession.

#6: Chinese Qing Dynasty 1644-1912 (greatest size-9.87% of the planet)

Translating from the Chinese language into English as 'Empire of the Great Qing', the Qing dynasty was and is still by far the largest of the Chinese empires before the establishment of the communist People's Republic of China in 1949.  As the Qing dynasty started off when the Jurchen Aisin Gioro clan in the North Eastern Chinese province of Manchuria, it initially seemed as if the small kingdom would not last against the greater might of the Ming dynasty which ruled most of China at the time.  

But surely enough, over time the Manchurian forces which had united by 1635, began to push the Ming out of their land which resulted in the destabilisation of the Ming dynasty throughout the mid 1600s.  As the century wore on, the Manchurian army under Li Zicheng was swelled to greater numbers by deserters from the Ming army until the complete domination of China was achieved under the Manchurian Kanxi Emperor in 1683.

Over the next 200 years or so, the Qing dynasty enjoyed relative peace and economic prosperity as the rulers of the empire grew closer to the Chinese people by more extensively embracing traditional Chinese culture.  This period of prosperity began to fade however when parts of China were colonised by foreign powers such as Germany, France, Italy, America and the UK in the 19th century culminating in the first Sino-Japanese war between 1894-1895 when the Japanese showed that modernisation was the way forwards by using modern rifles, machine-guns, artillery and armoured ships to crush the out-dated Qing military.  The Qing empire continued to crumble thereafter resulting in the ill-fated boxer uprising in 1900 near Peking and the overthrowing of the empress Dowager Longyu in 1912.

#5: Ummayad Caliphate 661-750 (greatest size-10.07% of the planet)

Out of the four Islamic Caliphate empires that would come to dominate the middle-east throughout much of medieval and early-modern history, the second caliphate under the Ummayad family was by far the largest and most powerful yet was one of the most short lived surviving only 89 years after its founding by Muawiya ibn Abi Sufyan after the end of the First Muslim Civil War.

Despite the fact that the empire stretched from Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran in the east through central Asia, the middle-east and North Africa to Spain in the West at its height, many have argued that the oppressive taxes levied by the Caliphate's rulers which moved away from  the original teachings of Islam were the main reason for the unrest that plagued this short-lived empire.  Regardless however, the Ummayad Caliphate was a powerful state that crushed dissent wherever it ruled with its huge army mainly made up of lightly-armoured horsemen that showed their worth when the empire invaded Spain and outmanoeuvred every European army that blocked its path with greater numbers, leadership and tactics.

However, the Caliphate fell into decline after the turmoil of the Second Muslim Civil War (680-692)  and the defeat of a Caliphate army by the army of the Franks in Southern France at the battle of Tours in 732 began a period of military and political decline that later culminated in the Caliphate's collapse after the Third Muslim Civil War (744-747).

#4: The Spanish Empire 1492-1975 (greatest size-13.04% of the planet)

From the landing of Christopher Columbus on the East Coast of America in 1492 to the loss of the last Spanish territory in Africa in 1975, the Spanish empire ushered in the age of the dominance of the European superpowers in foreign affairs during the era of colonial expansion between the 16th and start of the 20th centuries.  The famed landing in America of Columbus and his party was not the only thing that opened up the way to Spanish expansion however as Spain won control over all territories of the Iberian peninsular and the 'Gold coast' in Africa in the last years of the 15th century followed by a series of successful conflicts to ensure Spanish control over the Netherlands and much of Italy throughout the 16th century.

With the massive amounts of gold and silver discovered by the eradication of the southern American empires in the middle and later years of the 16th century, the Spanish Empire reached its height as it was able to fund Europe's most professional army at the time and conquer huge swathes of lands in the Americas, Africa and pacific islands.  However, over time the Spanish empire was continually raided by the navies of France, Britain and the Dutch which caused a slow and steady decline in the Spanish economy.  This was further instigated by the long and ultimately fatal war for Spain's domination of the Netherlands between 1568 and the early-mid 1600s.

After this period of misfortune however, Spain regained many lost territories and began economic and military reforms with the establishment of the Bourbon dynasty in 1700.  Throughout the 1700s the Bourbon's defeated attempts to remove them from power, expelled opposing religious groups from colonial territories in America and defeated the hold of the British over a number of wars in the Mediterranean which brought a number of important trading lanes under Spanish domination.  

After the late 1700s though, the Spanish lost territories in America to France who then sold them off to the recently established United States of America and suffered humiliating military defeats on sea such as at the battle of Trafalgar in 1805 and on land in the wave of revolutions that swept southern America in the 1810s and 1820s.  Over the next 150 years or so, the Spanish empire declined as more and more territories broke from Spanish rule which culminated in the disastrous battle of Annual in Morocco in 1921 in which North African rebels showed up the corruption and weakness of the Spanish army and government by defeating a far larger Spanish army.  From here on out the Spanish empire declined until the final ceding of Spanish territory in 1975

#3: The Russian Empire 1721-1917 (greatest size-15.31% of world's landmass)

Even simply taking into account the mass of Russia itself, the Russian Empire that succeeded the Tsardom of Russia was colossal and ruled over much of central and northern Asia at the height of its power.  At its start, the empire had a confusing future as there was a huge deal of land that needed farming but the population of Russia in the early 1700s was less than 15 million resulting in the majority of the population becoming farmers while only a small number lived in towns and became politicians.

Under empress Catherine the Great (ruled 1762-1796) the Russian Empire expanded its territories in eastern Europe and defeated the Turkish Ottoman empire in multiple wars of territorial dispute.  This period of power continued even through the massive invasion of Russia by France in 1812 until in the 1850s when Russia once again went to war against Turkey but was this time drawn into a disastrous conflict against France and Great Britain and lost some parts of the Crimean peninsular.  This resulted in a period of decline that culminated in two revolutions against the autocratic regime; the revolution of 1905 established a constitutional monarchy while the second revolution of 1917 against Russian involvement in World War One resulted in the end of the Russian empire and the establishment of the Soviet Union.

#2: The Mongol Empire 1206-1368 (greatest size-22.14% of world's landmass)

When the legendary Genghis Khan united all of the Mongol and Turkic tribes of Mongolia in 1206, he did so with the aim of creating a singular and united people that would be able to defeat all threats put against them. Initially, the main target of the Mongolian army's wrath and that of its leader was the Chinese kingdom of the Sung dynasty and later the Khwazerwarheim empire.  After the conquering of these kingdoms, the death of Genghis sometime between 1223 and 1227 and the death of his successor Ogedai in 1241, the empire experienced a period of instability as warring factions competed for dominance of the empire.

Despite the unification of the empire under Guyuk Khan in the civil war that followed,  the Mongol empire would never be as feared and powerful as it was under Genghis and Ogedai despite the huge swathes of territories the empire conquered and the size and organisation of its armies.  A physical example of this can be found in accounts of the battle of Ain Jalut in 1260 which remains the only pitched battle where the Mongols were decisively defeated.  Despite the power of successive Khans, the Mongol empire declined from here on out and eventually crumbled in the later decades of the 1300s following the collapse of the Yuan dynasty in 1368.

#1: The British Empire 1497-1997 (greatest size-22.63% of global landmass)

Despite the fact that the British empire never reached its full height until halfway through the 18th century, it is still recognised as the largest and most influential empire in living memory encompassing territories as far and wide as Canada, India, the Middle-East, Australia and New Zealand and multiple African nations and introducing a large number of countries to relatively modern technologies such as connected, nationwide railways, radio, television and mechanised armies.  For the first 200 or so years that England began to colonise territories from 1497 to the end of the 1600s between the "age of discovery" and the unification of Great Britain, the only real expansion consisted of establishing small colonies in America and establishing trade routes through the Mediterranean into Africa, India and the far east.

Following the unification of Great Britain in 1707 and the subsequent wars with Spain, France and the Dutch republic, Great Britain was left as the dominant power on the North African side of the Mediterranean ocean.  With this new-found power and access to the Suez Canal as well as one of the world's finest and largest navies, Great Britain began its colonisation of India and parts of southern and eastern Africa.  This increased the power of the British state by bringing huge profit through trade and power through the recruits for the British military that were gained by conquering these territories.  Despite opposition to British colonialism in Canada and America in the 1750's from France and again in the 1770's from American revolutionaries, the British empire remained the largest and most powerful empire of its day.

This condition was strengthened further after the British defeated France and Spain at the naval battle of Trafalgar in 1805 which in turn also cemented Britain's naval supremacy up until World War One (1914-1918).  over the next hundred or so years after the battle of Trafalgar the British remained the world's main superpower as empires such as those of France and Spain came and went according to the waxing and waning power of their governments whereas Britain continually experienced political stability because of its balance between government and monarchy.

However, even as the empire reached its zenith at the end of World War One and during the 1920's, the economic strain of the war and the rise of nationalism in India prompted a wave of somewhat timid albeit increasingly confrontational dissent across the empire.  This dissent increased with the economic strain put on the British empire by the Second World War (1939-1945) which resulted in such a widespread wave of nationalism across territories that it prompted a swathe of countries gaining independence from Britain in the late 1940's and throughout the 1950's.  This continued throughout the 20th century until finally in 1997, the United Kingdom finally handed over its last major imperial territory of Hong Kong city to the People's Republic of China.

I hope you guys have enjoyed this top ten, please be sure to submit suggestions for future top tens and I'd greatly appreciate it.  Until next time, keep safe, clever and happy.

Game review #8: World of Tanks

In this modern day and age, video games have come along way from when they were simply pixelated adventure quests about unlucky-in-love Italian plumbers or matches about tennis as shown by moving white blocks that had to captivate their audiences with little else besides retrospectively primitive graphics and game-play with little pretence towards a story of sorts.  In this modern day and age we now have games that are able to focus on all of these holy tenets of video games by combining increasingly realistic graphics with more extensive writing and immensely more advanced game-play on consoles that are a world apart in sophistication compared to the consoles of the 1970s and 1980s.  However, with this advancement also comes the possibility that some games such as Final Fantasy XIII or Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots will focus more on the storyline and eschew game-play in order to advance the plot which let me tell you, is far from the best method of immersing the common gamer in your game.

That's where games such as World of Tanks, made by Wargamming Studios and designed for use on computers, comes in as this particular MMO (Massively-Multiplayer-On-line) has no story whatsoever and virtually, if not entirely, focuses solely on game-play and the development of game-play over story.  Now I am most certainly impartial to both story and game-play-biased games, but when a game such as World of Tanks concentrates solely on game-play and manages to do it so well as the first Mario land games in a day and age when story holds such a strong reign over much of modern gaming my black, bitter heart soars to the heavens above.  Now if you don't know what an MMO is, its a game where you advance slowly in a large-scale on-line community by participating in adventure quests in small parties and battle against mythical creatures as shown by the much-acclaimed World of Warcraft series in order to achieve higher ranks and better equipment and skills.  In World of Tanks you advance in tiers rather than ranks and most of the game-play rather than some of it is based around harnessing your personal skills in combat.  Initially you start off with a slot for a vehicle in your garage filled by the first tier vehicle of each of the playable nations which include; the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, America, France, China and Nazi Germany.

As expected with all MMO's, when you start off in World of Tanks you will be very weak and most likely die allot  however, the more you battle, the more you will inevitably learn the weaknesses and strengths of each tank and earn greater amounts of experience points and in-game credits to advance to higher tiers of tanks.  On top of this, the relative ease with which you will be able to advance up the first few tiers of vehicles will allow you to try out different tank types (specifically; Light tanks, Medium tanks, Heavy tanks, Tank destroyers and Self-propelled artillery) from each individual nation to properly sum-up what the play-style of your garage will inevitably represent.  As is also the case with allot of MMO's, some content in World of Tanks can only be bought with real money with which you can by in-game 'gold' which allows you to create more garage slots and buy 'premium' tanks which are unavailable by other means except as a gift to be bought outside of the game itself.  However, the good thing about this is that it is not always necessary to advance without buying gold and that when it is necessary  most 'premium' tanks and other similar actions that are only available through paying real money don't cost too much money unless you buy higher tier 'premium' vehicles or a year-long 'premium' account.

That's enough for the technicalities, let's now move on to the glorious, tread crunching, armour-smashing, cannon-blasting tactics and types of game play that are to be found in this world of steel beasts!  As mentioned before, there are six nations and four types of tanks, the differences between the different types of tanks are in themselves, very notable, but what is even more important to take into account is the play-style attributed to each tank tree of each country.  One of the foremost countries in the game is Germany: these tanks are generally good for their wunderbar-tough armour, range of their main guns, ability to penetrate heavier armour and, in the case of heavier heavy tanks, tank destroyers and self-propelled artillery vehicles, fearsome damage output.  On top of that, the Germans also have some of the highest amounts of health points on their top/tenth tier heavy tanks and tank destroyers.  The one problem with the Germans however is their speed and manoeuvrability   despite having tanks on their medium and light tank trees, many German tanks lack the speed and manoeuvrability of their main rivals, the Soviets.

The Soviets are largely at the other end of the spectrum of tank design in the sense that they seem to mostly focus more on the damage output of their main guns, speed, manoeuvrability and well-designed rather than simply thick-as-mushroom gravy armour.  therefore, unlike the German tanks which excel at holding flanks and sniping, Soviet tanks equally excel at ambushes due to their low profiles (heights), flanking attacks and close-range assaults.  In contrast to the Germans, the main weaknesses of the soviets are lighter armour on many tanks (excluding the frontal armour on the most popular soviet tanks amongst the heavies and tank destroyers such as the KV-5 heavy and Object 263 tank destroyer), lower penetration and accuracy on the guns of many heavies and some artillery and some tanks that take the Soviet penchant for speed so far that they take a great deal of taming in order to prevent crashes.

Similarly to the Soviets, the tanks of the Chinese also centrally focus on speed, well-designed rather than heavy armour, manoeuvrability and damage output on the main guns.  The reason for this is that seeing as how all of the tanks are from the years between 1917 and the end of the 1960s, and this was the period that communist China and Russia were very close allies, it is only natural that the communist Chinese government which came about much later than the one in Russia holds some influences of Soviet tank design.  The one thing that sets out the Chinese apart from other nations however is that whereas the other nations all have individual tank trees, all Chinese tank trees share the same first 5 tanks imported from other countries; the French FT-17 (tier 1), the British VAE type B (tier 2), the Japanese Type 2597 Chi-Ha (tier 3), the American M5A1 Stuart (tier 4) and the Soviet T-34/76 (tier 5).

Similarly, the French also start off their tank trees rather oddly in comparison to other nations.  Whereas the tanks of other nations are generally slower the higher the tier they are, French tanks oddly enough start off snail-like slow while the higher-tier French vehicles go faster than an ice-cold bottle of French white wine on a warm summer's afternoon. On top of this, tanks of tier 5 and below for the French tend to have very tough armour for their tier while the higher tier tanks have comparatively weak armour for their tiers.  However despite these oddities  the French combine well-designed armour, guns with great penetration and rates of fire, heavier tanks with both crazy top speeds and auto-loaders (loading chambers that allow you to fire in quick succession) to create lower tier tanks that excel at defending and higher tier tanks that can overrun the enemy superbly through flanking attacks.

In comparison to all these nations, the American tanks may seem to be the most balanced and perhaps suit players with a generally flexible and freestyle approach to this type of game.  Lower tier American tanks on all branches and higher ones on the medium branch follow the speedy, raider-like approach as most Chinese and Soviet tanks, many American artillery vehicles rival German and Soviet ones in damage output, the Americans have great frontal-armour like the Soviets and French and also like the French, have guns with great penetration, accuracy and rate of fire.  What makes the American vehicles stand out from the crowd however is the terrifying range of their main guns, damn tough turret armour and finger-licking' good acceleration.  With these advantages in play, many American vehicles are able to find de-elevated positions,  dig-in, snipe away the enemy's health and move with immediate alacrity when danger rears its ugly-ass head. However, the one downside to these fine examples of American ingenuity is that for the most part, the hull armour on American tanks is pathetic meaning that they are best used in sniping positions and on un-defended flanks.

Lastly we come to one of the most talked about nations of them all, the tea-drinking, roast beef-scoffing, pint -guzzling, queen-glorifying bejewled sceptre that is Great Britain.  Naturally, as it was the British who invented the battle tank you would expect British tanks to be the best designed and most powerful in the game, but as it is they are not the most damaging and have some rather odd designs indeed my old-chaps.  For the most part, the British tend to have some of the lowest damage outputs for their main guns and have only just been introduced into the game recently meaning that they only have tank trees for mediums, heavies and tank destroyers.  Furthermore, the British heavy tanks are compounded by nail shatteringly, irritatingly un-couth and downright 'I dare say!' slow speeds between tier 4 and 8 while medium tanks of the same tier have armour that is notably easy to penetrate.  However, the British are surprisingly versatile for a number of play-styles in the sense that all British tanks have good accuracy, guns with great penetration, 10-year-old-Christmas-cake-tough frontal armour on higher tier vehicles and in the case of most light, all medium and some heavy tanks, the British are superbly mobile with truly splendid top speeds.

Subsequently, it might be a good idea to fight up the first few tiers by yourself or with just a couple of friends by creating a temporary 'platoon' to go into battle with each other.  However, as your garage and kill-ratio progresses, you may find it more preferable to join the many number of clans that are constantly battling across the world, specifically ones centred in the country you live in.  There is no reason to do or not do this depending on your viewpoint but if you take one bit of advice on how to play World of Tanks it is this; always co-operate with your team-mates and promote teamwork through your actions otherwise it might not only be the enemy team you find firing armour-piercing shells at you.

In conclusion; I strongly recommend this game.  I know it may seem daunting with all this speak of multiple play-styles and nations to be found in the game but that's all part of the fun of playing World of Tanks as it allows you to be creative and have fun playing the same game in an uncounted number of different ways.  What makes this game truly fabulous aside from the increasingly sophisticated physics engine, increasingly refined graphics and increasing variety of vehicles is the fact that it is totally free!  OH FREAKING YEAH!!!     This game is so free I could write an essay about how marvellous it is to simply go onto www.worldoftanks.com or .eu, click 'play for free', wait to download the game for 2 minutes and make yourself a well-earned cup of mint tea while the game takes its time to install which despite the wait is well worth it as you then venture forward into the World of Tanks.

Oh and BTW: congratulations to the World of Tanks European server on it's 2nd birthday!